Suspiria ★★★★½

"How bout I make you my Wiatch?" - Sebastian Stan in The Covenant,

2018 Ranked:

Dakota Johnson looks gross in this....just kidding! She might be the most beautiful woman on the planet.

It is pretty damn bold to remake one of the most celebrated horror films in history, add an hour, and change almost everything except for the setting, but I would say this film works.

In Suspiria, Susie Bannion (Dakota Johnson) attends a dance academy that is run by a coven of witches (shhh....she doesn't know). She starts to become worried when people start dying in super graphic ways. The artistic direction is SUPERIOR and while the film may not be scary to me, the final act is bold and dramatic and gross. I didn't fully feel the 2 hour 30 minute runtime but it sure as hell didn't feel short. I miss the bold colors and randomness of the Argento version but this is certainly a more coherent story with excellent performances. Not recommended to people that say "that's weird" a lot.

P.S. I rate the dancing 1.5 stars.

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