Aquaman ★★★½

Is it good?
It's... entertaining.

But is it good?

So, it's not good?
It's not bad. Well... maybe it is. I mean, sure, some parts are pretty bad. Like, awful, cringeworthy bad. The dialogue, for example, approaches Venom levels of shit. Aquaman is a very hit-or-miss film, but it's also pretty freaking ridiculous (and by ridiculous, I mean RI-DIC-U-LOUS), and that ridiculousness makes it oddly... enchanting. It's hard to not enjoy and admire this movie for what it is. It's maddening, yes. But it's also pretty darn fun.

Tell me, is it better than Man of Steel?

Better than Batman v Superman?

It's gotta be better than Suicide Squad, right?
Oh, absolutely.

Better than Justice League?

Better than Wonder Woman even?
Most people would probably say no, and while I would agree that Wonder Woman is a more polished film, I'd still give the upper hand to Aquaman. Yeah, screw it. Aquaman is better than Wonder Woman. I'll take over-the-top and ridiculous over a standard origin story any day. So, yeah, I'll say it: Aquaman is arguably the best DCEU movie to date.

What are the best parts?
Nicole Kidman. Nicole Kidman kicking ass. Neon Atlantis. The costumes. The CGI. The chase scene. The Trench scene. That ridiculous, epic undersea battle of fishes. Ocean Master versus Aquaman. Mary Poppins as a gigantic, tentacled sea monster. Amber Heard in a jellyfish dress.

What are the worst parts?
That script. That garbage script. The forced humor. The forced song choices. That awful, awful cover of Toto's "Africa." Not enough Black Manta. The CGI. Amber Heard in a jellyfish dress.

What's the bottom line?
I know I've said it many times, but it's really the best word to describe Aquaman: it's ridiculous. It's ridiculous! The first two-thirds may be a frustrating mess of varying highs and lows, but James Wan throws everything and the kitchen sink into the third act, delivering everything fans of the titular character ever dreamed of, and—all in all, warts and all—an Aquaman movie that's more spectacular and badass than anybody ever imagined. Aquaman lives and dies by its sheer ridiculousness, and I love it. It's shit, but it's a hit. Worth a watch.

EDIT: Watched a second time. This is good shit and it's rightfully a hit. Kudos, James Wan.