Call Me By Your Name delivered me into a dreamscape I haven't left since. I don't know if I ever will, or if I ever want to. This movie is what longing is. That feeling just before you are about to cry, when your heart is heavy yet full and you don't know whether the tears will fall. It is youthful uncertainty, a kind of quiet energy that makes you want to slow down time. This film lets the happiness simmer just beneath, in small smiles and intimate strokes, in the arch of Renaissance sculptures disguised as bodies. This film made me fall in love with film, with life, with peaches and summer and reckless care - all things I have been in love with, but now in a new way. And it broke my heart, because it made me love these things, made me hold these things in my heart, and still they weren't enough. This is what I mean by longing. It is a gaping, bleeding, pitless peach, rich and sweet and vulnerable and still not enough. It is intimacy in the fear of intimacy, and it is deeply, deeply sad. It is heartache.