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  • The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss Osbourne

    The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss Osbourne

    ★★★★

    🎃 ROHMC 2020 #28 - Watch a film starring Howard Vernon

    How much do you enjoy Udo Kier erotically staring at himself in a mirror, touching himself, flailing around in a tub in pain and ecstasy? If you answered a lot, this movie is for you.

    Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Miss Osbourne is one of the most bizarre takes on the Jekyll and Hyde story I've ever seen, taking a looootttt of liberties with the original story Walerian…

  • Blood Beach

    Blood Beach

    ★★

    🎃 ROHMC 2020 #27 - Watch a film starring John Saxon

    Ok sure the scene on the poster actually does happen in the movie so it gets a point for that but hooooooooooooooooooly fuck why is Blood Beach so god damned boring? Why is it shot like it's trying to be an arthouse Coppola film??? Did Jeffrey Bloom want to make a "serious picture" and the producer said "sure film it however you want but it's gotta be about a giant maneating worm living under a beach". So many poor decisions went into this film and none of them are even fun to laugh at.

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  • Assassination Nation

    Assassination Nation

    ★★

    Sam Levinson - "whoa guys, I don't know if you can handle my film that I, an older white dude wrote about the complexities of being a teenage girl, it's pretty E̳͉̊̇̌̍D͔͍̪̠̙̼̦̿̇G̱̼͖͔̖̀ͧ̾̈ͬͭ̒Y̔̔͛̈ͤ, like TRIGGER WARNING am I right?"

    -puts sunglasses on and blasts Linkin Park-

    "p.s. this is what a feminist looks like"

    -drives off into the distance-

  • The Seventh Sign

    The Seventh Sign

    ★★½

    John Carpenter's Prince of Darkness but for your mom.