• Hobo with a Shotgun

    Hobo with a Shotgun

    This movie wants so bad to be something it’s not. By calling it Hobo With A Shotgun, the filmmakers want people to think, like Snakes on a Plane, you know what you’re going to get. And you can tell that Rutger Hauer really wanted to sink his teeth into this role so that he could have a Tarantino actor style impact. But the movie turns vapid real quick, and the cheap action runs its course into inconsequential. Also, setting a…

  • Machete Kills

    Machete Kills

    ★★½

    I had seen the first one before, and for no reason I could think of stayed away from this one. So after seeing the first one for the first time since it was out, I figured what the hell and turned this on. I unfortunately have to say that I can see that Rodriguez still thinks this one note joke on exploitation is worth an hour and forty-five minute movie. And once again, the joke wears thin real quick.

    Amber…

  • Machete

    Machete

    ★★½

    Machete don’t edit. Machete too long.

    Machete is not unlike 90% of Robert Rodriguez’s films. There are fun scenes (using someone’s intestines like the fire hose from Die Hard is a major standout) and decent set pieces. But the substance...is just not there.

    Somehow, Rodriguez was convinced he could make Danny Trejo a star. Truth is, he has terrible line deliveries and he has always worked best as a background character. Him fighting Seagal at the end was a joy…

  • The Novice

    The Novice

    ★★★½

    It’s amazing to me that Isabelle Fuhrman doesn’t already hold a gold statue because time and time again she proves that she is fully committed. The Novice is no different. It reads almost like a female version of Whiplash, as Fuhrman plays Alex, a freshman trying to find her way in college who joins the school’s rowing team only to both physically and mentally break down into a psychological nightmare. 

    The Novice is the type of film that its first…

  • Kuffs

    Kuffs

    ★★★

    This was my go to cop comedy when I was a teenager. Watching it now, I do recognize its problems. It’s cliched to full tilt, and Slater’s talking to the camera as if we were bffs grates after awhile. But does that make it a bad movie? 

    Sure, and I heard turds could fly.

  • Eyes Wide Shut

    Eyes Wide Shut

    For reasons I still don’t understand, this lovely holiday season, I decided to revisit this befuddling ‘erotic thriller’ for the first time since renting it when it was newly released on home video. To put it bluntly, Eyes Wide Shut basically amounts to over two and a half hours of typical drawn out Kubrick pontificating, only to have him tell me its a bad idea to get high with your wife. The only thing that saves the movie from being…

  • The Stepfather

    The Stepfather

    ★★½

    Stepfather 2009 is so painfully by the numbers that to ask to be thrilled is asking too much. It has a reputation as one of the worst remakes of all time. This reputation is well founded, as good actors are put in such bad paycheck collecting roles that it’s obvious the effort on their part, despite their presence, is almost non existent.

    So, why the hell do I find it so watchable? Maybe because it’s a case of being so…

  • The Stepfather

    The Stepfather

    ★★½

    I THINK I saw this as a kid. At least I remember the very beginning, where Terry O’Quinn is doing himself up for a normal day at work as he walks past the family he just murdered. And then...my mind blanks.

    The Stepfather isn’t much of a thriller. There is absolutely nothing in this movie that will thrill or surprise you. It’s also not much of a slasher, as the kills, while brutal, don’t quantify it as such. And with…

  • Pump Up the Volume

    Pump Up the Volume

    ★★★½

    After reading a ton of behind the scenes retrospective looks at Pump Up The Volume, a movie that not only spoke to me as a disenfranchised early teen in 1990, it also marks my first Letterbox’d review from 2011. So, I decided to rewatch it. And despite some obvious plot contrivances (everyone wearing the same things to school twice in a row, the way Mark’s parents ‘accidentally’ buy him gear that allows him to broadcast on an FM radio station)…

  • Young Adult

    Young Adult

    ★★★★

    Still one of Theron’s best performances. She wears bitch very, very well.

  • Saturday Night Fever

    Saturday Night Fever

    ★★★

    What was it about the 70s and Italians?

    Truth is, until I watched this movie for the very first time today, I had no idea why they would pick Stallone to do the sequel. Now, I can completely see it. Travolta is playing Rocky on the dance floor. Not nearly as successfully, and the racism/homophobia is rampant here, but Saturday Night Fever isn’t that bad a watch. Especially if you remember the tunes displayed, which is a given if you were born in the 70s and with a set of ears.

  • Poltergeist III

    Poltergeist III

    ★★½

    Its admittedly kind of fun to watch a franchise knowing it’s at the tail end of the teen slasher phase of horror, so it incorporates horribly attired late 80s teens in the midst of a ghost story. What isn’t fun is watching Poltergeist III with a sense of dread knowing little Heather O’Rourke died in the midst of shooting it. She has a presence that is undeniable here, and I love her little bits of sass that she’s able to…