Can't remember the last time a movie made me feel absolutely nothing... It's theatrical without being artful, it's confusing without being unsettling and oversexed without being erotic. Also don't try to convince me it was purposely awkward to pay tribute to giallo. I've seen B-movies with more substance than this celebrated wreck.

I expected to love Suspiria, but it didn't even manage to make me angry. I couldn't wait for the movie to end as quickly as possible, and still I can't even say I was straight up bored or disappointed. My mind was wiped clean, but not in a good way.

Also I love Tilda Swinton, but casting her in three roles serves no purpose...