• Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom

    ★★★½

    damn i couldn’t stop thinking about the amount of times that chris pratt and bryce dallas howard narrowly escape death. they be like “i’m a bad bitch you can’t kill me!!”

  • Jurassic World

    Jurassic World

    ★★★★

    this whole movie i couldn’t stop thinking about how i want chris pratt’s enormous thighs to crush my skull

  • The Incredibles

    The Incredibles

    ★★★★★

    it’s funny watching this as an adult because watching this as a kid there’s so many things i didn’t get. like i always thought that elastigirl and mr. incredible got married after meeting each other ONCE on top of that building. truly the best superhero movie ever. marvel is SHAKING in their suits

  • Love, Simon

    Love, Simon

    ★★★★★

    my weepy ass has no tears left to cry by the end of this fuckin movie

  • Incredibles 2

    Incredibles 2

    ★★★★½

    this movie was so fuckin fun & cute! jack jack was the MVP of the whole thing. so this first movie came out when i was 7 years old and i definitely never noticed how thicc Elastigirl is but oh my god...her hips really don’t lie. i need her workout routine

  • Alex Strangelove

    Alex Strangelove

    ★★½

    so 'call me by your name' and 'moonlight' are some of my favorite films, and they've also set the standards so high for artistic queer films. but we have to remember that this here is a teen netflix movie, so don't go in expecting a poetic cinema masterpiece. alex is literally the cheap netflix version of timothee chalamet. the actor who plays alex really does fit that twink archetype very well. the whole plot just felt rushed and i think it would've been more effective if alex and elliott's attraction was a slow burn.

  • Ocean's Eight

    Ocean's Eight

    ★★★★

    this movie made me feel like i could rob a store and *probably* not get caught. ladies, next year we’re robbing the Met Gala. thnx for the tips sandra bullock xoxo

  • Hereditary

    Hereditary

    ★★★★

    this satanic spooky shit really had me shaking in my boots. it had me on edge the WHOLE time. also this movie ruined tongue clicks forever. now whenever i hear them i will be triggered

  • Upgrade

    Upgrade

    ★★★★

    i really only went to go see this because Logan Marshall-Green is a beautiful foxy man, but the overall movie was actually v good. the action scenes were amazin & i loved all the pretty neon red lighting

  • How to Talk to Girls at Parties

    How to Talk to Girls at Parties

    ★½

    i had no idea what the fuck was happening during this whole movie

  • Adrift

    Adrift

    ★★★½

    this movie was stressful yet romantic & cute at the same time. it deadass made me cry so hard by the end though. shailene woodley titties: OUT.  her nipples were very present and i kept staring

  • Bad Teacher

    Bad Teacher

    ★★★½

    this movie is so bad, but for some reason i love it and have watched it so many times???