• Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    Spider-Man: Across the Spider-Verse

    ★★★★½

    Remember how good Into the Spider-Verse was? This is miles better. I feel so lightheaded leaving the cinema. The whole thing is so sensorially sumptuous and tactile, visually and auditorily inventive, that the entire time watching, you might feel as if the colors are percolating through the screen, bleeding out into the real world and slowly drenching you in it, making you a part of its world. No wonder they took almost 5 years to make this, and it shows…

  • Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

    Master and Commander: The Far Side of the World

    ★★★★

    Fuck the Marvel Cinematic Universe give us the Master and Commander universe

  • Reality

    Reality

    ★★★

    Reality Winner? more like A҉҉̦̣̤͔̟̩̋̿̏ͦ̈́̍͟͠n̸͐̈́͟͟͝x҉̣ͫͧ̕͘͜i҉̧̯̤̙͔̑ͧ̅̔ͦ́͜͟͢͝͠e̵̡̫̫͍͕̎ͭ̐͟͟͝͞t҉̷҉̢͖͔̹͛̌͊͘͜͢͠͡͡ȳ̸̵̩̜͔͍̔́͟͟͢͡ W̵̶̸̻̼͉̱̄͗ͭ͟͢͢͠i҉̧̯̤̙͔̑ͧ̅̔ͦ́͜͟͢͝͠n̸͐̈́͟͟͝n̸͐̈́͟͟͝e̵̡̫̫͍͕̎ͭ̐͟͟͝͞r҉̵҉̛̠̩̥̋ͦ̆͆͟͞͡͞͠

  • John Wick: Chapter 4

    John Wick: Chapter 4

    ★★★★½

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Can’t think of a better send-off than this. But if they‘re dead sure on making another one, it literally has to be about John Wick fighting hordes of demons and the undead Doom-style in his quest through hell to join his wife in heaven.

  • Brokeback Mountain

    Brokeback Mountain

    ★★★★★

    See You Gay Cowboy(s)…

  • John Wick: Chapter 4

    John Wick: Chapter 4

    ★★★★½

    John Wick will get hit by 5 cars, fall from a 10 storey building, get shot at by machine guns and kicked down 220 stairs and yet he still stands up and kills dozens of people gloriously. John Wick is not just a character but a metaphor for life. Get knocked down, get right back up and keep climbing the stairs. Loving husband material.

  • Sisu

    Sisu

    ★★½

    If you wanna know what’s really hardcore, picture an old man slashing a nazi’s throat underwater, then replenishing his oxygen by sucking the air from the nazi’s gashing windpipe

  • Secretary

    Secretary

    ★★★

    James Spader playing a sex freak should be a genre unto itself

  • Air

    Air

    ★★★½

    No way they really included a prompt at the end to inform us that Michael Jordan went on the become the greatest basketball player of all time.

  • Knock at the Cabin

    Knock at the Cabin

    ★★★

    There’s something about Dave Bautista and his small pair of glasses that just hits different. I can’t explain why but every time the camera zooms into his eyes it just gets unbelievably sad. The things that he communicates through his eyes alone, the sense of pathos he gives off, as his character braces himself for the inevitability he knows he’s powerless to stop is just astonishing. What a soulful actor.

  • In the Loop

    In the Loop

    ★★★★

    "Yeah, okay, fuckity-bye!"

    "Shut it, Love Actually!"

    "You know what you look like? A squeezed dick."

    Jesse Armstrong's the maestro of conducting symphonies of legendary insults, it's almost beautiful.

  • As Tears Go By

    As Tears Go By

    ★★½

    80s Films with the Song "Take My Breath Away" Ranked:
    1. As Tears Go By
    2. Top Gun

    Full Disclosure: Maggie Cheung and Andy Lau are so hot together they make you forget that they're cousins.