Scott Pilgrim vs. the World ★★★½

okay, now THIS is epic

and by epic, i mean an overtly-caffeinated, hyper-edited, poorly-misguided, graphic novel adaptation that just SEEPS with such a distinct era of boy culture i still feel it stained on my skin like a nissin cup of noodles chicken flavor packet. epic in the way all edgar wright movies are, which is neither here nor there. epic in its pwning of veganism, but also promotion of it at a time when no one even knew what tempeh was? epic in the way this movie has so much fucking going on in it that it's essentially its own time capsule that we can unpack today, tomorrow, or ten years in the future and still find the envy adams concert scene phenomenal but the belief that soOOoo many beautiful women would stop, drop and roll for michael cera (michael cera academy award when?) on the spot. epic in the sense we would all die for the inventor of hair-dye ramona flowers and somehow fuck twink michael cera even though he's the villain but isn't ramona as well.. and that reminds me.. wasn't knives horribly mistreated and the gay character wallace sort of an icon in our community even though he called knives some variation of chinese food which was classic white gay racism and chris evans did not look good with that chin strap but at least it wasn't chris pratt but allison pill did pull out a career best performance in a movie that smells (like axe), written by a straight nerd that gave us the iconic "back off, has-bian" but also an extended amazon commercial to the capitalist overload jeff bezos

so yeah... epic