Paint Drying

Paint Drying

Hello everyone! Sorry for the inactivity, I’ve been moving houses and am currently experiencing something (film related) that I think isn’t talked about enough.

Every couple of months I’ll go through a phase/episode where I watch nothing but ‘torture porn’ films to the point where I am desensitised to everything. I literally can not bring myself to watch anything else that doesn’t involve gratuitous violence and it’s something I’ve been struggling since late 2019, after a traumatic event. 

It’s so degrading, humiliating and violating acknowledging that you’re entering this phase, which I think I slowly am again. My whole appearance changes; mood, hygiene, eating habits, sleep and alcohol. 

And what’s worse is that after this ‘episode’ is over I become hypersensitive. Any media that contains gore makes me visibly squeamish and anxious which goes on for weeks! And there’s nothing I can do about it. 

I guess the point of this was to see if anyone else could relate to my experience and possibly share their story. I understand if people unfollow or think I’m a fucking loser but I think it’s important to acknowledge the effects film plays on mental health, vice versa.

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