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  • High Life

    High Life

    ★★★★

    3-2-1 Contact

    Not for nothing, but I would have watched a thousand hours of Pattinson and the baby.

  • Hellboy

    Hellboy

    Beyond the general shittiness of this - even the action scenes are awful, all flailing barely-considered choreography and spastic cutting and terminal underlighting to hide it all, and memorable action has been Marshall's stock in trade so far - there remains that this stack of bad decisions can't even get the slam-dunk choices right. To wit: How the fuck you gonna cast Milla Jovovich as your villain and give her not a fucking thing of interest to do? If Paul…

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  • Beyond the Black Rainbow

    Beyond the Black Rainbow

    ★★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Rather than a proper review, I'd like to address something I've been seeing a lot vis-a-vis this here movie. In other words, I'm about to break this shit down real small.

    Great visual experience, but oh that ending! That seems to be a standard knock on Panos Cosmatos's sumptuous, thrilling sensory blast Beyond the Black Rainbow, to where even its champions feel like apologizing the last fifteen away. Nuts to that. Its ending is terrific, a sudden disorienting gearshift that…

  • Kung Fury

    Kung Fury

    ½

    Creatively bankrupt dead-eyed smug garbage masquerading as nostalgia-humping homage. Fuck this. Fuck all of this. Fuck everything it represents.