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  • Captive State

    Captive State

    ★★

    Genuinely funny to see so many people act like this was hard to understand instead of just being boring.

  • Dragged Across Concrete

    Dragged Across Concrete

    ★★★½

    Three things;

    1) I won't shit on Zahler's interminable gamer-tier fetishization of the importance of being apolitical until he makes a shitty movie, which he hasn't yet.
    2) In retrospect one of the most impressive parts about Brawl in Cell Block 99 is that it made me forget that Vince Vaughn really is not a good actor in the slightest.
    3) That hamfisted Don Johnson monologue about THE MEDIA~! is just as cringeworthy as that part in Uwe Boll's Rampage:…

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  • Too Many Cooks

    Too Many Cooks

    İ͋̅̽͏̶̠̘̭͡t̴̸̹̺͇͇̫͔̪̤̅̔̚͢ ͕͓̰̙̠͍̤̓̀͂͊͛͌̐̚t̸̷̔̔̊͏̩̗͖̝͉̯̮̭a̳̭̙̬ͦ̑̈́ͩ͢͠k̖̻̻̙̝̮̈́̈́̀̒̈͆ͦe̹̜̤̊ͪ̓̔͑ͯ͢s̘̘̜̟̭̹͈ͥ̒̃͒̒ͅ ̷̴͉̺͉̲̈̂̃ͅa̮͓̙͙͓̫͆ͧ̊ ̵̛̟̳̌̊̃ͣ̆ͯ͆l̵ͫ̒͋ͭͯ͟҉̯̩̬̲͈̙͓o̷̺͖̫̙͍͐ͧ͠t͍̣͎̍ͫ͐ͮ ̸̽͐҉̼ͅt̶̤̫͓̦̘̓̀̄̇̐̎ͮ̆͝o̭͇̫̻̹̻̥̳͒̌ͫ ̵͓̲ͬͨ̾́ͯ̅́̒m̵̧̗̰̰̬͎̜̔ͬ́ͪͬå̸̵̘͔̹̰͇͍͉̫k͈̝ͫͅe̶̓͐̌ͬ̇̀ͩ҉̛̰͖ ̸͕͎̘̟̹͛̏̔ͯáͦͭ͒͒̃̾͡͏͍̱̠ ͔̝̉̓̀s̠̙̥͔͕̪̜ͯ̂̊̀ͅț̺̣͈̠̞̘̑̏e̢̜̳͈͇͍̹͔̋ͥͧ̕w̨͇͓͖̣͌̓̽̒͊͗̉,͕͍̜̻̹ͪ̆ͯ̏ͥ̒̈́̀͟ ̫̟̳̯̯̭͊͋̔́͞ e͚̜͑͌̇̀͠s̷̡̤͍̼̟͕̗ͫͩ̊ͯ͛̂͂͗p͔̘͍͖̌̃̓̇͒ͤë̻̼͓́͗͛͛̿͆̔̋ͬ͘cͬ̎̓̓̏͒͞҉̯̱̻͈̹̫i̬̮̦̘̬̮͉͚̓͒͐̊ͩ̅́͟a̛̟̯̥͊̑͠͞l̡̧̛̟͔̺̼̭̬̜̹̓͒ͩ͑̈́̆̓l̰͎͙̽̃ͭ͛y̷̷͓͙͙͎͔͆ͣ̌̍ͪͣͮ̂͡ ̲̞̹̭ͦ́̽́ẘ̡͇͇͇̝̯͇̠ͯ́̕h̬̐ͤ͟e̼͍̯͙̦̟̞̠ͦ̾͡͝ņ̤͖̯̰̗̳͙̦͈ͪ̐̊͛͗͋̏̀͠ ̸̓ͥ͐ͭ̎͆ͣ̊͢͏͚̝̼͇͇i̵̟͓̦ͯ̉̉͐̿͛ͤ̓̊͡t̟̳̹̼͖̻́ͪ̄ͦ̈́͟’̧̨̩̗͐̚s̴̳̠͕͈͉̝̏̎̋ͬ̓ ̹̳̰͍͍̝͉̮͍ͥ͑ͭͧͭ̓͐̑͑͟m̷̅͆́̑ͣ͆̄̚҉͚̗͖͓̬ẽͭ̊̔҉͖ ̮̠͉̱ͧ̈́͝ą̯͕͊̇͋͂̈́̇͊̀n̴̡̢̻̹̫͍̯̮̈́͋d̷̟̜̮͂̏ͧͧ̈̅͗ͤ̌͟ ̨̹͉͇͕́̏̀y̴̞̻̭̳̜͌ͩ͌͐̏́ͥ̚o͚ͬṳ̩̱̜̟̘͔̋͐͗̄͊͟.̷̢̼̯̯̟̬̯̰̤̩ͦͫͬ
    ̩͎͖̬͎̊̐ͦ̌͐̃̚Ť̢͙̟̉̓̇̑O̷̭̲̗̫̠͔͓̗̼ͥ͂̂̇ͪ͗͜Ò̴҉̝̼̺͙ ̨ͮ̓͑̂̂̇̐͒҉̜̦̬̟̩͡M̺̼̹̲̰̰̘͔͆ͭ̃͒́͜͠A̰̜̜͐̉̎̇Ṅ͍̖͔̜̭̙̦͎̀̅̿̈ͥYͣ̇ͦ͏̸͕̫̘͟ ͍͇̪̯͕̺̦̱̐ͤͤ͟͡C̴̴̹̺̰͎̭͍ͦͯͣ̆ͩ̌̔̒̏͟ͅƠ̠͂̈́͟Ò̵̪̯̞̳̲̤͋̔͢͡K̳͇̿ͯ̔ͧ͡S͎̯̈ͣͭ͒̽ͨͫ̍̀ ͈͔̮͎̀͐̃̋͐̊̇ͨ͞T̺̩̩̮ͬͭͣ̈́̍̃̒͢͞O̷̵̞͔̙̭̻͉͋ͬͬ̂̄͞O̓̓̑ͮ̓̃̆ͩ̈҉҉̮̺̲̟͖̹̬͈͕ ͙̝͙̣̩̩̊͊̑M̨͔̤̖̱̜͉̘̆̇͛ͩ̅͐̉͘Ą̹̦͉̭̘̠̈́͌̽N͍̥̞͓̳͇̳͈͋͗̿ͩͅY̵̪̣͈̱̱̭̞̳͛ͫ̌̀̚ ͔͉̤͎̤̐̊̂͌Ç̲͇̤̖̉̃́͞O͉̤͍̜̘̅͒ͯ̕Ŏ̢͓̥̲̎́͑̍̓̿͝͞ͅK̲̭̝̟̣̭̯̱̾̽ͪ͛͒̽ͥŞ̹ͭ͋̓̓́͛̐ͤ ̰͔̦̖̠̣̯̓͢T̨͎͙̞̣̖̳̤̞̒̊̾̕͞ͅǪ̷̹͇͈͔͎̲̮͂͆ͭ̀O͖͚͖͍͚̅͆ͪ͂͆̓̀ ͙̤̠̙ͦ̊̔̈ͩ̅̾͆͊M̛̛͖̫͇̭͓̗̮ͤ̑ͥ͊ͭ̄̊A̯͖̪̖̬̻̪͓̅̽ͬ͑ͪ̓̍̔N͉̲̽ͨ̅̕Y̭͔̘̓̓͢͡ ̮̙͈̩̝͉̦̼́͗ͧͬͫ̈̅ͣC̣̜͉͍̦̲̯͐ͣͅO̳̠̩̬̻̜̲͒̽̀̿͟͝ͅO̦̳ͩͦ͢K̛͚̤͈̳͉̗͒̿̽͠͠S̶̡̝͔̈̾ͪ̿ͨ̂͢

  • Godzilla

    Godzilla

    ★★★

    "The arrogance of men is thinking nature is in their control and not the other way around."

    Kick Ass is fucking terrible as a leading man but I overrate the sheer will of Bryan Cranston, Ken Watanabe saying GOJIRA, and cool monster fights so here we are. Godzilla spitting fire is worth a few stars alone.