Spring Breakers

Spring Breakers ★★★★★

Like sniffing the powdered form of the American Nightmare out of Ashley Benson’s ass.

Spring Breakers is the embodiment of the disgraced too hot to trot youth culture we should come to fear, who got no respect for yo ass if you're in the way of their idolized debauchery. Harmony Korine soaks his film in neon crotch sweat, satirising these atrocities for all their worth, or rather, lack thereof, capturing the cringe imagery of Girls Gone Wild perfectly, which to our lead cat throwing beach battalions, is their cultist hypnotic religion of choice.

Our Disney queens, from the purest in Selena Gomez to the dirtiest in Vanessa Hudgens, live their escape from typical boredom in the sun blazing blown out parties of Florida. Littered with drugs, booze and ass, bought and payed for through armored robbery and organized crime. Grabbing male genitalia at every chance rather than just plastering their love for it all over their textbooks, reminding you “don't get attached, stupid”. These are truly gross people, who idolize gross things, and yeah, appear to have a sisterly connection at first, but much like American Psycho, it's consumerism and uncaring selfishness that turns them to the dark side. Little neon demons lighting up the party, whether it’s by the end of their blunts or the end of their gun barrels. The holier ones leaving earlier, never to be seen in the film again, while the rest wait to see where excess takes them.

That excess fantasy lead by the hilarious James Franco as Alien, who completely deserved an Oscar nomination for his work. The sly talking, gold toothed white rapper the epitome of the approachable American nightmare. More so a victim of society’s capitalistic view of success and excess than some only goofy side character. His love only for material goods (or as he calls, his shhyyieet), and his bitches that will aimlessly wonder the party scene alongside him. Euphoric indulgence winning them over as they fight and stigmatize to the very end shouting from their lips “spring break forever, bitches”.

It's a pee covered hyper reality of depravity, and a hilarious one at that. The dark humor working better on a rewatch, and the music very inspired, dunking you into the closet film we've ever come to “Grand Theft Auto: Vice City”. A perfect use of the MTV Angel Britney Spears’ “Everytime”, showing their devotion to party crime libertarianism and that unchecked desire is quite a rough road to venture.

Rock your best bikini and bottoms, kids. This some crazy shhyiiet.

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