• The Northman

    The Northman

    In which one of the three ‘saviors of horror’ proves that he doesn’t know how to compose shots, direct action, or create tension in any way whatsoever. I never liked this guy’s movies but I was willing to believe that they were somehow boring as fuck in an artistic way and with this he proves, no he’s literally just a hack. It’s puzzling that he tries to make every shot a long take and then proceeds to not do anything…

  • Twilight

    Twilight

    ★★★★

    call me edward cullen the way i be seeing niggas sleep on me

  • As We Hold Hands

    As We Hold Hands

    shit goes so hard. i need a bad bitch to listen to griselda with.

  • Don't Go Breaking My Heart

    Don't Go Breaking My Heart

    ★★★★½

    alpha male, i can't fuck with the betas

  • West Side Story

    West Side Story

    ★★½

    I usually don’t like challenging the need for movies to exist but this shit is just so pointless. I don’t know if this is a beef with the musical itself or an issue with adaptation, but this whole thing really fails to be revelatory in any way. It doesn’t even feel earnest in its depiction of conflict, with Spielberg afraid to dip into the horror inherent to so much of this. And that’s honestly surprising considering how much of a…

  • Speed

    Speed

    ★★★★★

    all timer

  • Scream 2

    Scream 2

    ★★★★★

    I’m obsessed with the camera in these movies. For as much as the screenplay revolves around commenting on the nature of movie sequels and horror franchises, the movie is made great as a sequel in how it develops its treatment of Ghostface. The way the camera maneuvers through space is a huge part of what makes these movies memorable (the opening scene of the first film being one of the most iconic horror scenes ever), and while nothing here matches…

  • Overcomer

    Overcomer

    ★★★★½

    Alita: Battle Angel but with Jesus. Gave me a better understanding of black American Christianity than I got from living in a black Christian family for 20 years. I have no clue how a white dude wrote this.

  • God's Not Dead

    God's Not Dead

    ★★★★

    the original sigma male: jesus

  • Black Panther

    Black Panther

    black people be like

  • To the Wonder

    To the Wonder

    ★★★★★

    Those conclusions you came to are not conclusions. You have your whole life ahead of you.

  • Prince of Darkness

    Prince of Darkness

    ★★★★★

    Carpenter makes these few rooms feel like the last place on Earth. Candlelight and religious imagery essentially mourning what is yet to come. This sets up the perfect place for trademark Carpenter imagery of breaking the laws of reality which are always movies in themselves. Liquid dripping upwards, mirror portals, video dreams.

    In a lot of ways functions as the antithesis of The Thing. Both are movies about bodily possession but Prince of Darkness is characterized by people working together…