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  • The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

    The Pirates! In an Adventure with Scientists!

    ★★★★★

    The only treason this isn't the best Aardman movie or the best Hugh Grant performance is because Chicken Run and Paddington 2 are perfect unimpeachable masterpieces, whereas this is only one of the greatest movies ever made.

  • The Valley of Gwangi

    The Valley of Gwangi

    ★★★★★

    Cowboys vs. Dinosaurs. Effects and animation by Ray Harryhausen. Obviously and inarguably the greatest film ever made.

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  • Society

    Society

    ★★★½

    "Fuck you, butthead."

    One of the more depraved things I've ever seen. And yet, like many of these horror cult classics, weirdly kind of charming and loveable in an arts and craftsy way. The most revolting gags in this are also so gleeful that you can't help but feel proud and happy for the weirdos who pulled it off. Depressingly still-timely politics! And pretty funny! I don't know who I'd recommend this to... But I had a great time with it. The infamous finale is worth like nine times the price of admission.

  • The Black Cat

    The Black Cat

    ★★★

    Wait, is Boris Karloff's head just shaped like that?

    Wait is Bela Lugosi taller than Boris Karloff??

    Pretty fucked that this is presented as "help, I'm trapped in a house with these two guys who want to bang my wife" and not "help, I'm a human being with agency trapped in a house with 3 guys who want to bang me"

    Karloff's hair and wardrobe are spectacular

    Bela Lugosi says "baloney"

    Three men wondering why a drugged, injured woman might…

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  • Hellraiser

    Hellraiser

    ★★★½

    I had a great time with this one. Gross, wet, and strange. What an incredibly weird mythos. And the character design is all so...specific. It's very Of A Time, but somehow way more iconic than it has any right to be. It's crazy that there's like nine of these and a bunch of people who love them. I had no idea it was so weird!

    And SO MUCH GOOP!! God, I love goop. When the gooey skellington first appears, I fistpumped and giggled with glee. All the blood and guts and creature stuff is top notch. GROSS!! It's fun!

  • The Addams Family

    The Addams Family

    ★★★★

    The only reason this isn't the perfect family movie is that it's TOO HOTTTTT, THEIR LOVE IS SO BEAUTIFUL

    The first half of Barry Sonnnenfeld's career is one of The Greats.