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  • The Ritual

    The Ritual

    ★★★★

    I thought this was a genuinely creepy and atmospheric movie. Also, the monster design absolutely knocks it out of the park. Normally the only lanky Nordic creature that actually scares me is just Bill Skarsgård but wow did the thing in this movie spook me good

  • Bridesmaids

    Bridesmaids

    ★★★★

    This movie made me realize I have a crush on Ellie Kemper. Is that weird?? It seems a little weird. Either way it’s a hilarious, feel-good movie and actually has some really sweet messages about female friendships that can be hard to come by in comedies/rom-coms

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  • Only God Forgives

    Only God Forgives

    ★★★½

    A haiku for this movie:

    Ryan Gosling gets
    His ass absolutely trounced
    Wait is that incest?

  • Eastern Promises

    Eastern Promises

    ★★★½

    Watch out! A wild Viggo Mortensen appeared! 

                    👱🏻‍♂️          — я убью тебя, сука
           💪🏻/.        .\💪🏻
                 |~      ~|
                 \ 🍆  /
                 🦵🏻  🦵🏻