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  • Lucy in the Sky

    Lucy in the Sky

    ★★

    I feel as though I've ranted ad infinitum about movies that are "inspired by real events" as the post title card in Lucy in the Sky purports the proceeding film to be, so I won't beat the point to death. In this instance, director Noah Hawley and his co-writers culled from the real life story of disgraced astronaut Lisa Nowak and the love triangle that drove her incontinence cross-continent on a 900 mile trip to attempt the kidnapping of her…

  • Joker

    Joker

    ★★½

    Why so (self-)serious?

    Todd Phillip’s Joker is exactly what I expected it to be. It’s a great showcase of Joaquin Phoenix’ acting prowess as he delves into a character and contorts himself emotionally and physically, becoming a distillation of our morbid and troubled times. It’s also Phillips’ attempt to capture the magic of Martin Scorcese’s 70’s output, namely The King of Comedy and Taxi Driver, then releasing it in a modern sociopolitical context to comment on mass shootings and the…

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  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Beloved character Nude Scaramanga has returned for another entry in J.K. Rowling’s distended cinematic universe as Doctor Who-ry Potter in Blandtastic Queefs: Donaldtrump Grumblekin’s Series of Plantagenet Misdeeds. In this dreck-citing shit-eration of the lucrative franchise, Johnny Depp does his best impression of David Bowie humanizing Hitler while Eddie Redmayne, crippled by social anxiety disorder, bumbles about, mumbling, stumbling upon fantastical CG creatures while people either murder babies or reminisce about babies dying. There is a lot of child death…

  • Annihilation

    Annihilation

    ★★½

    In the ever increasingly difficult task of keeping science fiction fresh there are bound to be a few casualties. I did not expect director Alex Garland would disappoint with his follow up to 2014's Ex Machina, but Annihilation is the very definition of a sophomore slump. Much like another audacious but vacuous sci-fi outing, Inception, the film boasts dazzling visuals in service to a thin plot that's lacking any semblance of an emotional core. A cool concept is squandered in…