Favorite films

  • The Devils
  • The Cook, the Thief, His Wife & Her Lover
  • Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!
  • 3 Women

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  • Domino

    ★½

  • The Taking of Pelham 1 2 3

    ★★½

  • Unstoppable

    ★★★

  • American Gangster

    ★★★½

Recent reviews

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  • The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad

    The Suicide Squad live action franchise is shaping up to be one of the least self-aware clusters of polyps in the gaping anus of comic book movies. I don't know what wave-length of douchey dipshit you have to be on to passively enjoy a movie like this, but I assume it's amongst the same demographic of hand-sniffers that love The Kingsman movies or who think that The Boondock Saints wasn't that bad. Up to this point, I've been fairly ambivalent…

  • Zola

    Zola

    ★★★★

    It's utter trash, but I'll take "reappropriated incriminating social media threads turned movies that highlight the tenuous distinction between -who we wish we were- and -what we have actually become- and betray the diamond-encrusted veneer that belies the fall of the second Roman Empire" over smug, sanitized morality tales any old day. Nestled somewhere between John Waters' Female Trouble and Sean Baker's Tangerine is this gaudy, onanistic celebration and admonition of how dumb shit happens when you surround yourself with…

Popular reviews

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  • Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald

    Beloved character Nude Scaramanga has returned for another entry in J.K. Rowling’s distended cinematic universe as Doctor Who-ry Potter in Blandtastic Queefs: Donaldtrump Grumblekin’s Series of Plantagenet Misdeeds. In this dreck-citing shit-eration of the lucrative franchise, Johnny Depp does his best impression of David Bowie humanizing Hitler while Eddie Redmayne, crippled by social anxiety disorder, bumbles about, mumbling, stumbling upon fantastical CG creatures while people either murder babies or reminisce about babies dying. There is a lot of child death…

  • Annihilation

    Annihilation

    ★★½

    In the ever increasingly difficult task of keeping science fiction fresh there are bound to be a few casualties. I did not expect director Alex Garland would disappoint with his follow up to 2014's Ex Machina, but Annihilation is the very definition of a sophomore slump. Much like another audacious but vacuous sci-fi outing, Inception, the film boasts dazzling visuals in service to a thin plot that's lacking any semblance of an emotional core. A cool concept is squandered in…