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  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 2

    ★★★

    Can't even make jokes this one was actually good. There was dramatic tension! I was wondering where Alice went and actually curious about the logistics of a vampire baby and how you do or don't explain to your dad that you're dead now! They actually pulled off a really good twist and I got to watch Dakota Fanning yeet a toddler into a bonfire. What more could you ask for. Though gotta love the consistency and ending on a fan-made YouTube video.

  • The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

    The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn - Part 1

    ★½

    Bella: "If it's a boy I'll name him EJ... Edward Jacob... for the two men I love most in this world."

    Charlie: *is on a flight to Switzerland*

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  • Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

    ★★½

    Nothing says compelling villain like an old man on a coat hanger releasing a podcast

  • Magic Mike XXL

    Magic Mike XXL

    ★★★★★

    Didn't fully get the "himbo" trend until witnessing Joe Manganiello high on molly do a strip tease in a gas station in an effort to gain back some confidence while several other men, also absolutely blasted on molly, cheer nearby. Friendship is so powerful. This movie is a masterpiece.