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  • Life-Size 2

    Life-Size 2

    ★½

    There are many things I'm willing to forgive in a movie if it features an explicitly bisexual latinx woman as the main character, but I'm honestly not sure if Tyra Banks rapping and one of the amazing new additions that's supposed to "save" the Eve doll brand being just a regular Eve doll wearing a t-shirt that says "WOKE" are some of them.

    Most importantly though: imagine being the creator of a hugely successful product/CEO of a major company and…

  • Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    Black Mirror: Bandersnatch

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    It's a bit frustrating when you get to the "Netflix friend from the future" ending version and you go back because you still want answers about the in-universe "mystery" you've been invested on, but you realize that ending has made everything kind of obsolete because nothing will be as cool as a meta sword fight with Alice Lowe.

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  • Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life

    Cyber Seduction: His Secret Life

    But when will the Lifetime Channel make a movie about MY problem, the disturbing and destructive addiction to Lifetime movies?

  • The Watcher in the Woods

    The Watcher in the Woods

    ★★

    This is not a very good movie or anything, but I'm glad it exists because honestly "Sabrina the teenage witch directed a Lifetime channel-produced remake of The Watcher in the Woods starring The Grand High Witch/Morticia Addams in the role that originally belonged to Bette Davis" are words that could probably wake me up from a coma.