Kingsman: The Secret Service ★★★★★

*on a blind date*
me *trying to find out if he‘s the one*: I‘m a catholic whore
he:
me:
he:
he: WAIT DO YOU MEAN... 
me: yup
he: omg
me:
he:
together *at steadily increasing volume*: ...currently enjoying congress out of wedlock with my black Jewish boyfriend who works at a military abortion clinic, so, hail Satan, and have a lovely afternoon, madam!!!
me:🌚
he: 🌝
*wedding bells start ringing in the background*

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