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Carman has written 5 reviews for films rated ★½ during 2014.

  • Exodus: Gods and Kings

    Exodus: Gods and Kings

    ★½

    my favorite part was that one white horse that could be seen running away from the Israelites in the background, only to be demolished by the tsunami minutes later

  • Aberdeen

    Aberdeen

    ★½

    Clunky The Way We Live Now intertwining family drama shot like a TV commercial to whatever end I must've completely missed. Typically goes quite melodramatic as one would expect from a Hong Kong film but this one was beyond the tolerable range of my Western tastes. Louis Koo's character is utterly despicable and women are either totally vacuous or perpetual victims. Somehow, the plot device involving a dead chameleon named "Greenie" is not as unwieldy as the metaphor involving a famous Star Wars blooper.

  • Mood Indigo

    Mood Indigo

    ★½

    That Onion article parodying Michel Gondry is the perfect summation of this.

    The first 70 minutes of this feel like eating a whole bag of cotton candy by yourself in 10 minutes. That he trimmed it down from 2 hours for the rest of the world shows that Gondry is just and merciful.

  • The Signal

    The Signal

    ★½

    lmfao

  • The Great Beauty

    The Great Beauty

    ★½

    So much effort spent into saying so fucking little.

    The Fellini, Antonioni, and Godard references are merely there as signposts for a greater scope that this film never achieves.

    Maddeningly stupid.