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  • Messiah of Evil

    Messiah of Evil

    ★★★★★

    The plot, what little there is of one, is very Lovecraftian - endless flight through a seaside town, followers of an obscure sect pursuing you even in your sleep, locked up safe in your motel. But there's an overriding voice that is reminiscent of Shirley Jackson - events taking on intimate, sinister undertones that echo and echo through claustrophobic domesticity just starting to sprawl out into a post-war infinity.

    Here, we arrive at that same gas station twenty some odd…

  • Critters

    Critters

    ★★★★★

    So...this may sound like midlife crisis crazy talk, but I've had it with here/where my life is at right now, and so I've come to a very important decision on where my journey is taking me:

    Grovers Bend, Kansas.

    I am serious. It looks amazing. I want E.T's mom to be my mom. I wouldn't even mind having to live on a farm because I would have an awkward Billy Zane to tell me about what life is like in…

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  • Gates of Paradise

    Gates of Paradise

    ★★★

    Ok so it turns you are related to your horrible great-step-grandfather who is actually your grandfather by also being his niece because your mother and her uncle...

    Wait

    Hey but at least you are not related to your brother

    (The twist ending is that someone finally isn't related to someone)

    For some reason, it really bothers me that there are antlers on the storybook cottage beyond the maze. Nothing u turn into a music box needs to have effing antlers…

  • Fallen Hearts

    Fallen Hearts

    ★★★

    What in the actual fuck, movie?

    'Grandpa' Toby shows up like, three movies in ... I mean, I wasn't exactly paying attention to this but I'm almost entirely somewhat sure he hasn't been in a single second of these up until now!


    I feel bad about classifying Basso's acting as 'mostly crying' as anyone in these situations would probably be crying every four seconds.

    I think I am extra judgy about crying because I didn't cry for the last four…

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  • Alien

    Alien

    ★★★★★

    There are a lot of horror movies I just watch, either for fun or to unwind. This is not one of them. A lot of horrors will quickly move through a group leaving only one survivor, yet every kill relieves a bit of tension. It helps that in a lot of the movies I watch, the kills are brief, sometimes nearly instantaneous. The camera moves quickly from kill shot to a blank, unseeing stare. It's over now, for that victim.…

  • The Driller Killer

    The Driller Killer

    ★★★★★

    There's an interesting rift between like actually people sleeping outside the building, just everywhere, on the fire escape outside your window. And artists who have to stay in and eat pizza instead of going out and doing drugs. I read a horror novel recently I thought would either be a lot like one I'm planning advantageously or not, and it really tries to paint an accurate picture of millennial aged crashing on a friend's couch poverty and I wondered if…