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  • The Forest

    The Forest

    ★★

    That weird 70s/ early 80s ‘humor’ about how women's lib brainwashed women who are actually still stupid (Midge on that 70s show being a good example) into thinking they can also do stuff like go on camping trips because they read about it only it’s still too hard! (Implying that women can't do stuff or even learn to do stuff) I guess they need men after all ... Plus those narrative songs in a horror movie are either hilarious or…

  • The Slumber Party Massacre

    The Slumber Party Massacre

    ★★★★★

    Nightmare Sleepover for The Sleepover Friend's 33rd this week!

    Which means you have this ... and The Last Slumber Party which is this movie's tube top wearing cousin your mother really hopes you won't want to be like ... but sometimes, you're just not sure which you would rather hang out with as this movie does gets up to some stuff after the totally wholesome hanging out - like killing a creep who thinks it's some big fucking honor to…

  • The Loved Ones

    The Loved Ones

    ★★★

    I mean ... the world may be basically over but at least tuxedo tshirts are still a thing?

  • Host

    Host

    ★★★

    ... more like doom party

  • Bloody Birthday

    Bloody Birthday

    ★★★★★

    lol I thought only millennials went out and killed things - whatever we can find!!! Breakfast cereal, Applebees, a willingness to die for jobs that don't pay enough to live on!!! after being told we aren't special

  • Anaconda

    Anaconda

    ★★★★★

    ANNND just made it before they took this off Prime! Yeah!

    I fully invested in this movie with Owen Wilson's sad gumby faced outline inside the snake because he has always really annoyed me and then J Lo put on lipstick that was the exact shade of her lips. I did keep looking at Ice Cube's sneaks and thinking 'those must be so uncomfortable by now' I wore chucks for like five years and they nearly killed me but I…

  • Forbidden World

    Forbidden World

    ★★★

    Really need one of those UV-C light rooms for after the grocery store or after my bf comes back from anywhere ...


    Or I could just live in there? I mean, if we're being real.


    A month or so ago, or something, I think, I went to the beach. Did I tell you about the beach? It's still there. It's not like the beaches you are thinking of. Alaska beaches are made for social distancing ...


    That worries me, tbh,…

  • Parasite

    Parasite

    ★★★★★

    Having recently discovered COLD BREW COFFEE (AKA: the only thing fueling my existence in this WRETCHED FUCKING WASTELAND which is shipped up on a barge on Wednesdays to the island fortress where I live from the middle of a pandemic and soon to be food shortage, and I'm not sure if I should vote YAY food shortage, like for all those being forced to produce, probably unsafely, in said pandemic, or if I should be all, BOO food shortage because,…

  • Tentacles

    Tentacles

    ★★★

    Maybe not the most thrilling stock footage from the 70s you will ever see but you will definitely fall in love with the idea of having Shelley Winters as your grandma I mean, I am already in love with the idea of having Shelley Winters as my Jolly Holly Holiday batshit Adoptive Mommy in Whoever Slew Auntie Roo? In 1971 AND my Satan cult Mommy in The Devil's Daughter, in 1973!!

    Also, incidentally, (and I did not plan this) I…

  • Lady Frankenstein

    Lady Frankenstein

    ★★★

    Ugh DAD why won't u just let me STEM so mid victorian !!

  • The Return of Count Yorga

    The Return of Count Yorga

    ★★★

    Offers to give orphanage 50,000 only the priest he's promised the check to is led to a sinkhole where he dies, essentially flipping the count off with his cross


    This is the best thing that happens aside from discussions such as:

    'what? Vampires? No. I don't believe in that.'

    'Well ... could you believe in vampires?'

    'No I couldn't believe in that. What? Vampires? Absurd.'

    The choice of a SF bay area orphanage is really an odd one. It's probably…

  • Count Yorga, Vampire

    Count Yorga, Vampire

    ★★★

    I don't think we're in the 60s anymore, Donna

    Got the double midnite dvd billing since amazon I think only had the first one free to stream

    This really feels the most faithful despite the name change as it's so talky and that was my main takeaway from the original Bram Stoker work as well - that the discussion over going after the vampire takes up over half the movie. Still, there's a meditativeness to this, a study of characters caught between worlds who haven't quite figured out how they fit into things yet. Then you have poor Count Yorga, who never will ...