F9 ½

Both cinema and my mental health are officially dead. And you have none other than this corporate pile of misery and nonsense to thank. Actual “filmmaking” and “storytelling” are completely absent throughout the runtime and are replaced with everything you could think of that i hate in modern filmmaking nowadays (Style over substance nonsense, no enjoyment factor, the look & feel of a corporate sellout, etc.). As much as i admit that there are movies that i enjoy for dumb fun, i know my limits. This is just too much.

My body is aching, my brain is fried, and i feel the urge to bash Universal Studios for ruining modern cinema forever with this travesty. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for me to catch up with “actual movies” now.

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