• Bringing Out the Dead

    Bringing Out the Dead

    ★★★★½

    How have I never seen this before? 

    Cage is absolutely brilliant in this, and NYC has never looked more depraved, dreamlike, and terrifying. His three different partners over the three nights of the film serve as bizarre “Christmas Carol”-esque guides who give him differing perspectives on his psychological burden. What a ride.

  • Onward

    Onward

    ★★★½

    The beauty of Pixar’s best films is the simplicity of their main conceit. 

    -What if our toys lived secret lives?
    -What if our emotions were sentient beings? 
    -What if a little robot fell in love?
    -What if monsters were actually afraid of us?

    This movie has its own classic Pixar premise:

    -What if your dad was a sentient ass?

    No, seriously. This is a movie about two elf children who resurrect their dead father’s disembodied legs, ass, and presumably dick…

  • Guns Akimbo

    Guns Akimbo

    Why did I watch Guns Akimbo?

    What is Guns Akimbo? What does Akimbo mean? They never explain it in the movie but about 40 mins in everyone starts to refer to Daniel Radcliffe as “the akimbo guy.” Does everybody except me know what Akimbo means?

    This movie is like Crank but everyone besides Jason Statham thinks they’re acting from within a Lele Pons vine. This is Disney Chanel acting. Also I think everyone is Australian and doing an American accent?…

  • Color Out of Space

    Color Out of Space

    ★★★

    About midway through this movie I was ready to write a review praising nicolas cage for acting normal for once, but then about 50 mins in he starts doing an undefinable accent and going nuts. 

    Movie looks incredible in 4K and I’m so happy Richard Stanley is working again.

  • The Lighthouse

    The Lighthouse

    ★★★★

    this movie sums up what it’s like to live in a small LA apartment with a roommate more than any other film on earth. don’t ask how, it just does.

  • Uncut Gems

    Uncut Gems

    ★★★★★

    after watching this movie I felt a full body adrenaline comedown like I had just come out of a long nightmare and I finally knew it was ok. That sensation was a dragon I kept chasing by going back to the theater again and again. The anxiety and intensity never waned in subsequent viewings, but the artistry, acting, and comedy shined through even more. I kept taking new people to the theater so I could feed off their first-viewing stress. …