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  • Mulan

    Mulan

    ½

    And they didn’t even bring back the Szechuan sauce

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  • Vertigo

    Vertigo

    ★★★★

    I just congratulated a local Dunkin’ Donuts drive thru employee for having as many directing oscars as Alfred Hitchcock. The man then became very emotional as tears started flowing down his face. “Thank you so much” he muttered

  • Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    Once Upon a Time… in Hollywood

    ★★★★

    Margot Robbie’s role in this movie is my role in a group project

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  • The Wolf of Wall Street

    The Wolf of Wall Street

    ★★★★½

    I can’t believe we all thought Leo was going to win his first Oscar in a movie where he blows cocaine into a hooker’s asshole

  • The 40 Year Old Virgin

    The 40 Year Old Virgin

    ★★★½

    I didn’t give these people permission to make a movie about me