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  • The Greatest Showman

    The Greatest Showman

    ★★

    one star for the songs and one star for my wife, Michelle Williams

  • We're the Millers

    We're the Millers

    ★★★

    An extra half star for the bit where Jason Sudeikis looks to camera when JenAn is dancing in the warehouse. The very nerve!!!!

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  • mother!

    mother!

    ½

    I feel like Darren Aronofsky was stirring a pot for 90 minutes telling me he was making the best damn soup I was ever going to eat in my life and then served me a bowl of water with an old shoe, a soggy bible and a squashed bag of potato chips. And then tried to ladel the image of a woman getting beat up directly down my actual gullet because Ooh, Edgy and Original and You Don't Understand This Metaphor Unless I REALLY Hammer It Home.

    Sorry Darren, you're cancelled.

  • The Favourite

    The Favourite

    ★★★★★

    Olivia Colman marry me challenge 2019