i’m not an ~~alien~~i’m discontent
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sam, tipsy: what's the irishman even about?
myself, hammered: oh god, it's like a tragic tale of cliques and betrayal and like friendship and stuff 😭
sam, tipsy: like mean girls?
myself, hammered: it is soooo like mean girls 😭😭 so like omg robert de niro is best friends with joe pesci but he's also best friends with al pacino and then joe pesci, like, tells robert that he can't be friends with papacino anymore. but robert de niro's like…
“you know who's looking fine tonight? ngor.”
“ok you did not just say that”
“what? she’s a good kisser”
“she is your cousin”
“yeah but she's my first cousin”
“so, you have your cousins, and then you have your first cousins, and then you have your second cousins...”
“no, wah, nuh-uh”
“that’s not right, is it?”
“that is so not right”
This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.
aubrey plaza is stupid hot and it’s distracting. kristen stewart is stupid hot and it’s distracting. i was distracted
think i would have loved the movie more if abby didn’t end up with harper. bless mackenzie’s heart but she has no chemistry with kristen & her character treats abby so poorly for a good bit of the movie that when abby finally says, “it’s over. i’m done,” i was relieved. i don’t think i should be relieved when it seems like the couple im meant to be rooting for won’t end up together🥴
“then who you fuck with?”
“i fuck with jesus, my lord and savior.”
a modern masterpiece
there is a way this story could have been told (and would have been told in lesser hands [james franco was attached to direct at one point, the bullet we dodged is gargantuan]) and it’s completely avoided here. what bravo does instead is create this softly lit world that feels like a fairytale, one growing more twisted by the second. everything about zola the…