Mike Apps🍿’s review published on Letterboxd:
I know...I know.....ME of all people watching THIS, reviewing THIS, considering my stance on the MCU! Trust me, it's not by choice. Had my autistic kid brother at the mall and he picked this one to watch.....only coz he loves pronouncing the word "eternal"
Anyway, this was a movie with nothing to say, yet not even brave enough to be terrible. Believe the negative reviews, folks! One star because I'm an Angelina Jolie biased millennial! Also Kumail Nanjiani, Robb Stark and Jon Snow are here as well!
Yknow for a movie about superhumans who have lived for over a millennia, not once did I feel an aura of mystery or atmosphere to show that they've truly been around. There's always that Whedon-ish writing these films seem obligated to follow.
When you watch over 100 movies a year and 75 of them are pretty much the same movie, you begin to appreciate it when something just cocks an arm and swings for all it's worth, whether or not it lands. After a certain point, it really is just about how much better it is to see an interesting failure than a boring success.
Alas, there is nothing interesting about the failure of Eternals!