Just a guy who refused to get killed.
Thesis: John Woo has the biggest balls in cinema history. This is the undeniable truth because he:
- Films most of it in Australia and still decided to blow up three models of the national car: a 1996 Ford Falcon. What a fucking power move.
- Opens a film with a sequence with rock climbing and exploding sunnies that is a five star movie in of itself
- And, most importantly: PUTS TWO MASSIVE FACE REVEAL SCENES BACK TO BACK,…
Keanu Reeves: Hello, Keanu speaking!
Tommy Cruise: Hi Keanu, this is Tommy Gun Cruise speaking.
KR: Hey TGC! So good to hear from you!
TGC: Listen - I just got out of the cinema. Your performance in Speed was one for the ages. You diving from car to bus, defusing bombs, saving chicks. And that bit where you slide off the bus with Sandra - what a moment!
KR: Wow, I mean ... wow, that means so much. Thank you…
I hope this letter finds you well. My name is Ryan and I’ve been here for about a year now, but this is the first time I’ve felt the need to make contact.
To be frank, your rating system needs a redo. While the 5 star system works for almost every film, tonight I watched an exception. I’m sure you’ve seen Big Trouble In Little China. It’s the sickest film of all time. You can’t go 15 seconds…