Thor: Ragnarok

Thor: Ragnarok

I'm not really sure how to say this without sounding like I have some sort of anti Marvel Studios agenda or that I just hate having fun but.....Thor: Ragnarok is one of the worst, most profoundly annoying superhero films I've seen.

Let's just start with the problems that I've had with the MCU, in general, that bleed over into this film. First off: this film, conceptually, has some of the biggest stakes that have ever been in an MCU film, however, they are not treated as such. Not one time did I ever feel that any character was in any legitimate danger and this film is dealing with the literal end of an important world here. It's such an emotionally hollow film even though it has a remarkable amount of moments where it could've come in with a nice emotional hook and it instead settles for ugly fake spectacle or egregious humor. Even Thor and Loki have a really interesting relationship arc that feels brutally underdone and straight-up ignored at points.

Similarly to problems I had with Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, I completely loathe the fact that every single moment of this film has to be undercut by such aggressively forced and brutally unfunny humor. Mere seconds after a major climactic moment that should devastate the audience happens, a character steps in to crack some jokes. I have no problems with jokes but I do have a problem when it jokes are used as a crutch to avoid any legitimately interesting narrative beats and character moments. It felt like a lot of genuine potential was getting pushed down in placement of more forcibly quirky comedy.

Cate Blanchett is great but I was baffled at how underused she is in this film, her character barely feels developed beyond a handful of exposition-dump lines (speaking of which, exposition-dump makes up a solid 85% of the dialogue in this film). Hela pretty much does exactly nothing for the entire film except just wait around Asgard for our heroes to show up and fight her. Tessa Thompson plays a cool unique character but she can't seem to keep her fucking accent straight for at least one scene (and yet another addition to Hollywood telling but not showing with their LGBTQ characters). Jeff Goldblum is literally just a meme version Jeff Goldblum in a ridiculous outfit, he's not even a character, he's just another overused personified joke. Anthony Hopkins tried a whole hell of a lot more in Transformers: The Last Knight than he did here. He has ONE pivotal monologue that he delivers like he literally just read it off the fucking page with zero emotion. And Mark Ruffalo seems to be doing his best (worst?) Larry David impression half the time.

Aesthetically, this most definitely looks more inspired than the rest of the MCU. I can clearly see inspiration from a lot of awesome 80's cult film in the production and costume design (even some Jodorowsky!). However, there was also quite a bit of lazy, stale, nondescript green screen and CGI used all over the place (specifically a key scene on a cliff edge early on that completely took me out) that really drains each frame of it's vibrant life. There really is never that much eccentric color to the film, which was disappointing to see given the marketing. Most of this actually just looks quite bland.

The movie is called Ragnarok for fuck's sake, would it have really been that hard to interject some drama and tragedy that actually fucking mattered into your stale narrative. I feel as if it's way past the time that the MCU needs to start making us fear for our heroes. In one of the film's post-credit scenes, we are introduced to a threat that is supposed to be the biggest thing the heroes have ever faced, yet it feels entirely empty, and that's a big problem.

This is literally an annoying internet meme that is translated and stretched out to an insufferable 130-minute film.

I get it, everyone else loves this movie and that's awesome but I, personally, would rather be locked in a room and be forced to watch GOTG Vol. 2 and Spiderman: Homecoming (two very meh films, imo) back-to-back on loop for a whole year than watch this again. With a way rushed first act, a drawn-out second act and a third act that was so empty I was pretty much checked out, hardly a single second of this film did anything for me. It's a film that wants you to believe it's just like those 80's cult films everyone loves, but it's not. It's just an annoying, smug, over-long, ugly and exhausting fanboy meme trash that felt like an irritation endurance test. Just because your movie is weird and quirky DOES NOT mean it is in any way original or good. Sorry.

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