Mike has written 12 reviews for films rated .
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Transformers: Age of Extinction 2014
Coming around on Bay as an auteur but yea this one is still not it.
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Cocaine Bear 2023
Sorry to Elizabeth Banks but she clearly does not got whatever it takes to be behind a camera.
A movie about a bear on cocaine should not be as boring as shit as this. Has only one joke and runs it to the ground. Made for babies to laugh at. -
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Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom 2018
Velociraptors are one of the coolest movie monster put on screen. Of course the representation of the real reptile is a tiny bit exaggerated (it’s actually closer to a portrayal of the Deinonychus than a Raptor which is actually just a deadly bird-like lizard) but god damn: every single one of these movies have done right by these creatures. They’re deadly, cunning and absolutely terrifying to encounter.
Jurassic Park’s Raptors are iconic, the animalistic version in The Lost World are so… -
Extraction 2020
A cheap knockoff version of The Raid with some white saviour complex and a pee filter to show how foreign this movie is how fun
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Lucy in the Sky 2019
Natalie Portman’s haircut and the changing aspect ratios every 5 minutes were surprisingly NOT the worst part of this boring pretentious mess.
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The Goldfinch 2019
At some point I just started skipping parts of it and fast forwarding and it was STILL WAY TOO LONG.
An unintentionally hilarious tonal mess with some of the weirdest writing I’ve seen sljdkdjd. -
Gemini Man 2019
Remember when Will Smith made good movies?
Scratch that actually.
Remember when Ang Lee made good movies???
Ps: since the CG in this movie is wack and rubbery they decided the best way to hide it is to shoot everything in smokey...dark...night time scenes...so for like 70% of the movie you really just can’t...see anything...