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  • Never Too Young to Die

    Never Too Young to Die

    ★½

    From the mind who would later give you "Baby Geniuses" and "The Karate Dog".

    Also, you had Robert fucking Englund right there and you went with Gene Simmons?

  • Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

    Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives

    ★★★

    AKA..."Jason Goes Meta". Also, "He's Back (The Man Behind the Mask)" is not very good.

  • Bones

    Bones

    ★★★

    I really enjoyed the first hour, and it has some fantastic and disturbing pracrtical effects(primarily the souls in "Hell"). However, distracting CG and awful dialogue drag it down, The movie can't decide if Jimmy Bones is an supernatural avenger or a Freddy Krueger knockoff. I think Ernest Dickerson nails the blaxploitation feel and Pam Grier is fantastic. It's always great to see Katharine Isabelle even if she's has nothing to do here. Snoop Dogg is fine despite the problems with the character. Mild recommendation.

  • Once Upon a Deadpool

    Once Upon a Deadpool

    ★★★

    If you thought "Deadpool 2" was great, this is a glorified blu-ray extra.

    If you thought "Deadpool 2" was "meh", this is a glorified blu-ray extra.

    If you thought "Deadpool 2" was awful, this is a glorified blu-ray extra.

    The stuff with Fred Savage is really funny, but this is a definite rental only.

  • Body Melt

    Body Melt

    ★★★

    Ozzies oozing out of control. Oi! Oi!

  • Blood Freak

    Blood Freak

    ★★

    Reefer Madness
    +
    Monstersploitation
    +
    Christiansploitation
    -
    Good Acting
    -
    Competent Directing
    =
    Blood Freak

  • The Being

    The Being

    ★★★½

    It turns out "The Being"...was love.

  • The Devil's Express

    The Devil's Express

    ★★★

    This had five screenwriters...FIVE!

  • Scorpion Thunderbolt

    Scorpion Thunderbolt

    Amazon Prime has a lot of movies, they also have a lot of "movies?". These "movies?" seem to disregard the rules of cinema, sanity, common sense and good taste. SCORPION THUNDERBOLT(AKA SNAKE) is such an example.

    Reporter Helen(Juliet Chan) has a problem. See, whenever a blind man that follows her plays the flute, she becomes a snake demon and kills people. While reporting a news story where a crazy man is running around throwing the entrails of a cat, she…

  • The Great Outdoors

    The Great Outdoors

    ★★★

    I miss John Candy.

  • The Executioner Part II

    The Executioner Part II

    ★★★

    Between this and JUNGLE TRAP, I'm under the belief that James Bryan is an alien from another planet.

  • Thor: Ragnarok

    Thor: Ragnarok

    ★★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    THOR: RAGNAROK is very hilarious and another entertaining entry in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. While all the THOR movies have had comedic moments mixed in with action, RAGNAROK's buddy comedy leanings almost outweighs the more serious aspects of the movie.

    Chris Hemsworth's comedic timing has grown throughout the films and his interactions with Mark Ruffalo, Tessa Thompson, and Tom Hiddleston are the highlights. Thompson is a welcome presence as Valkyrie and I look forward to seeing the ass-kicking from her…