Favorite films

  • The Wild Bunch
  • High Plains Drifter
  • The Treasure of the Sierra Madre
  • Duck, You Sucker

Recent activity

  • Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia


  • You People

  • The Great Silence


  • Dragon Inn


Pinned reviews

  • Elvis



    Fun fact: the “bright lights may be too sensitive for some viewers” disclaimers you now see at the beginning of movies were first created because people realized Baz Luhrmann’s entire filmography was just one big hate crime against epileptics.

    Austin Butler is beyond magnificent, the general spectacle is incredible, and Tom Hanks attempting an accent should be made illegal in all 50 states, but overall this is just a more “extra” version of every music biopic ever. Which, to me,…

  • The Menu

    The Menu


    Winnie the Pooh —> Blood and Honey
    The Grinch —> The Mean One
    Ratatouille —> The Menu

    The horror-fication of animated children’s classics continues, to the delight of me.

    Just as great on rewatch. The social commentary still reeks of Adam McKay-isms but the vessel in which it’s packaged is tons of fun. ATJ is a can’t-miss machine (no, The New Mutants doesn’t exist, idk what you’re talking about) and Ralph Fiennes is on his king shit. Mark Mylod deserves more work.

    2022 Rankings
    Best Horror Movies Since 2010

Recent reviews

  • Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia

    Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia


    What is the worth of a man’s life?

    Probably while in a fit of self-loathing, Peckinpah sought to provide the world a mirroring of his own self-destruction and personal inner monologue in the form of Bring Me the Head of Alfredo Garcia, a film which sees a bounty placed on the head of a dumb schmuck who knocked up the daughter of a cartel boss. Seeking to make a quick buck, sleazy piano player Bennie (Warren Oates in the performance…

  • You People

    You People

    The most redeeming quality of this film is that it’s already locked up the Oscar for Best Editing by nearly making Jonah Hill look good at basketball.

    An extremely cringeworthy shot at a topical, edgy comedy that forgets it has to actually be funny instead of solely sanctimonious, You People features Jonah Hill going against type and trying to play the “grounded”, woke, morally upstanding protagonist in what might be his official peak of self-obsession, which is already a high…

Popular reviews

  • The Pale Blue Eye

    The Pale Blue Eye


    Kids, if ever you start to think “hey, maybe being a full-time writer could be a sustainable career”, just remember that even Edgar Allen Poe had to join the fuckin Army.

    A dark, slow burn Scott Cooper period piece starring Christian Bale (hmmm, now where have I seen that before?), The Pale Blue Eye sees Bale’s grizzled old-timey detective investigating a potentially occult-related murder at 1800s West Point. Along the way, he’s joined by a quirky, eager young cadet with…

  • The Innocents

    The Innocents


    Chronicle (2012): The Kidz Bop Version

    Being a kid is tough. Every day is a new chance to explore not only the world, but also yourself. You’re capable of constantly discovering new thoughts, new likes, new desires, new fears, new emotions, and yet you are left to navigate it all without a compass. Children are not born with a predefined sense of right and wrong. Right and wrong to them are only what makes them feel right or wrong. They’re…