Solo: A Star Wars Story ★½

Remember the dice keys? Remember mynock? Remember the Imperial theme? Remember how Han calls Chewbacca Chewie? Remember his gun? Remember the Millenium Falcon? Remember how he won it from Lando in a card game? Remember hiding things in the floorboards? Remember that hologram game? Remember Corellia? Remember the Kessel Run? Remember parsecs? Remember Tatooine? Remember restraining bolts? Remember Bossk and Arrora Sing? Remember fucking DARTH MAUL??? Remember Hyperspace? Remember rebellions? Remember how he’s a SCOUNDREL but also still THE GOOD GUY??

Fuck you.

I wish so badly that this didn’t exist.

BONUS POINTS: I liked Emilia Clarke’s ponytail and Paul Bettany’s red dagger things and that’s honestly it. 
NEGATIVE POINTS: like everything else.

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