Stone Cold

Stone Cold ★★★

"DRUGS, SEX, AND MURDER. This gang was game for anything till they met a cop who'd stop at nothing."

In what simply has to be a parody of the action genre,
A tough Alabama cop (Brian Bosworth) goes undercover to infiltrate a biker gang led by a wild-eyed Lance Henriksen.
He manages to piss off an even more insane biker (William Forsythe) and uncovers a plot to kill the future governor of Alabama.
What follows, is a metric shit ton of explosions, gun battles, and full-on motorbike vs helicopter action.

This one is batshit insane.
I'm dead serious when I say it has to be a parody of action films.
Stone Cold combines every action film trope from the 80s, over the top villains, rock music, a cop who doesn't "play by the rules" and is suspended, FBI agents, undercover work, a stoic "uber man" hero, the wimpy partner who has to suck it up and shoot a dude at the end, a love interest, and explosions.
It's too well made to be just a bad film, and everyone plays it so deadpan serious.
For instance, the opening scene is almost verbatim the opening scene from Cobra, except there is a band of sweaty maniacs who shoot up all the crackers and Pepsi. (It takes five guys or so to hold up a grocery store.)
They even take a girl in pigtails and braces hostage.
The band of villains led by Lance Henriksen, (Who is fucking awesome in this.) is a drug dealing, priest killing, Nazi with Mafia affiliation, sadist biker gang, how can all this not be a farce?
What's more, the bad guys win, sure they get killed in various action film ways, but ultimately they succeed with their mission, and then some (The entire Alabama supreme court dies.)
The lead of the movie was Brian Bosworth, a controversial football player turned action film star.
They surround him with great character actors like Henriksen and Forsyth along with Sam McMurray(Raising Arizona) as the germaphobe partner.
Bosworth isn't exactly a great actor, I mean you won't be seeing the guy doing Shakespeare in the park or anything, but he's not the worst I've seen either.
At any rate, the mullet he sports during the movie has to be seen to be believed, it could be the lord god-king of all mullets for all I know.
For a mental 1990s action film that's stuck in the 80s, Stone Cold was a fun watch, It's no Robocop or DieHard, but it's a fun watch nonetheless.

Block or Report

Mondo Cinema liked these reviews