• Beau Is Afraid

    Beau Is Afraid

    ★★★½

    When you’ve contracted minor self-diagnosed ADD from watching youtube shorts all the time, every day feels like this. And honestly he’s overreacting

  • Seven Chances

    Seven Chances

    ★★★½

    Funny how some of the chase sequence in this is repurposed from Cops (1922), but instead of cops it's a roving gang of horny & scorned potential brides chasing poor Buster

  • Mammoth

    Mammoth

    ★★½

    So when Gael Garcia Bernal says that the rats will overthrow the humans and turn our bones into pens he gets to found a gaming company and cheat on his wife for no reason, but when I say that I’m “causing a disturbance” and “under arrest for public nudity”

    Profoundly funny and upsetting viewing experience. Turns out they Lived In A Society back in 2009 too.

  • The Navigator

    The Navigator

    ★★★½

    Every good ship keeps at least one crate of Roman candles in case of Cannibal-related incidents

  • Mildred Pierce

    Mildred Pierce

    ★★★★

    Terrifying premise: what if an ordinary middle-class woman gave birth to Lily-Rose Depp

  • The Balloonatic

    The Balloonatic

    ★★½

    A clumsy portmanteau…

  • Under the Silver Lake

    Under the Silver Lake

    ★★★★

    The things you care about are useless where we're going.

    Watched while eating mcdonalds and puffing on a nicotine-free vape. I am putrid. I am the dog killer.

  • The Eight Mountains

    The Eight Mountains

    ★★★★

    The mountain giveth and the mountain taketh away… I long for them, they call to me. God I wish I could grow a big beard

  • Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

    Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3

    ★★★½

    Prior to this I'd missed five of the past eight mcu movies, and skipped all of the shows. Realistically isn't going to be the last mcu movie I'll watch, I'll catch the next spiderman, probably the next avengers or whatever, but emotionally this felt like a satisfying finale for me. Reminded me that I could actually have some emotional investment in characters in this universe, that I do actually enjoy the marvel brand humour a lot of the time and…

  • Beneath the Planet of the Apes

    Beneath the Planet of the Apes

    ★★★

    Rubbing two fingers together and making kissy noises at the screen whenever Nova shows up like she's a cat across the road from me

    I didn't vibe with a lot of this but that is the boldest ending to a franchise film I have ever seen, people must have been so pissed at the time lmao

    I love Bomb ❤️

  • Three Ages

    Three Ages

    ★★★½

    "Get rid of that big boob and meet me outside. I am sitting behind you pretending to be asleep"

  • Sick of Myself

    Sick of Myself

    ★★★½

    I will financially support any filmmaker with an anti Guy Lodge agenda