• Spider-Man



    Lacking a great set-piece, which explains why I always slightly preferred the sequel (looking forward to seeing if that's still the case). Otherwise, it's flawless. Great character moment to great character moment, it just doesn't let up. Name a two hour blockbuster that flies by quicker than this. Tobey's perfect.

  • The Found Footage Phenomenon

    The Found Footage Phenomenon


    Damn, these guys really hate Cloverfield! And love Megan Is Missing?? I guess I actually have to watch Megan Is Missing.

    A good few watchlist additions, which is what you want from this sort of thing; particularly excited to check out David Holzman's Diary. Was especially thrilled to hear from the Cannibal Holocaust director (about how his dedication to making the film is largely attributable to his divorce, lol) and the creator and director of Ghostwatch. Wish they got Timur…

  • The Paedophile Hunter

    The Paedophile Hunter


    Very funny that the only real conclusion this doc comes to is that the police need more funding, which, lol. Lots of tragedy here, but maybe even more comedy? The World's Most Unemployed Man (with a very tragic backstory) confronting these gormless men with no social skills, seemingly doing it all just to give himself a sense of purpose. It's like an incredibly dark sitcom pilot.

    Also, “In this weather it probably smells bigger than it is” is one of the most bizarre and oddly graphic descriptions of a penis I have ever heard, so credit to Da Paedophile Hunter for that.

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once


    Objectively the third best film ever made, slightly better than Harakiri and The Godfather, slightly worse than Parasite and Come and See.

  • The Story of Film: A New Generation

    The Story of Film: A New Generation


    Starts out incredibly strong as Mark Cousins, without a hint of humour in his voice, proclaims, “he's dressed like a joker. A dangerous joker” as the Joker staircase scene plays out in its entirety. We then cut to a clip of 'Let It Go' from Frozen, prompting Mark to make the connection I'm sure we'd all already made in our minds; “The Joker could've sung this”. 

    Unfortunately this level of galaxy-brain genius analysis is not maintained throughout, but Mark's borderline embarrassing…

  • Batman



    How can a film with so many great gags also be so wearisome? Adam West rules so much & 'some days you just can't get rid of a bomb' is an all timer comedic set-piece, but much like the tv show I mostly found this amiably boring.

  • Drop Dead Gorgeous

    Drop Dead Gorgeous


    I am incensed that Hollywood made a feature length adaptation of 'Lisa the Beauty Queen' and no one thought to tell me. I’m not just referring to the beauty pageant concept here, or the joke density, or even the uncanny plot similarities; this film's writer, Lona Williams, was a Simpsons writing assistant and literally voiced Amber Dempsey, the pageant winner who is subsequently struck down by a freak accident (sound familiar?) in that episode, 7 years before this movie is released.…

  • The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes

    The Mystery of Marilyn Monroe: The Unheard Tapes

    Look I appreciate these stupid netflix docs because they give me something to pay 30% attention to while I play Football Manager, but even in that context this one is almost unwatchably dull, miserable and uninsightful.

  • Starship Troopers

    Starship Troopers


    Denise Richards should've been arrested and thrown in jail for looking like that. Ridiculous

  • The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

    The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent


    The most Reddit movie of all time, but like, of course it is? Did I go in expecting a movie with this premise to not be that? No. So what's the problem? 

    I will say, I’m sure the announced premise was originally that Nic was being held captive and forced to recreate his famous movies/characters, which is not what happens, but does sound more appealing to me, because if anything there isn't enough Nic Cage lore in here. No mention…

  • The Mother and the Whore

    The Mother and the Whore


    These guys seem nice and normal

  • Maiden



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    They didn't even win the race?? Women posting their Ls.