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  • Rocketman

    Rocketman

    ★★★½

    Real love's hard to come by. So you find a way to cope without it.
    -Elton John

    The sequence that transitions from the pool party to the concert to the plane was brilliant and the perfect representation of how fucked up Elton John's life was. Moments of realism feel out of place in an Elton John biopic.

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie:
    -Rocketman with Taron Egerton
    -Was in Kingsman: The Secret Service with Samuel L. Jackson
    -Was in Snakes on a Plane with Lin Shaye
    -Was in Room for Rent

  • Room for Rent

    Room for Rent

    You're looking for a room?
    -Joyce

    Lin Shaye is great and it's hard to hate a movie that has her as it's star, but everything else in the film is poorly executed. It meets the minimum requirements to be considered a film. The trailer pretty much shows everything so just watch that instead or better yet watch something else.

    ---------------------------------------------------
    Degrees of Separation from Last Movie:
    -Room for Rent with Lin Shaye
    -Was in Small Town Saturday Night with Octavia Spencer
    -Was in Ma

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  • Guardians of the Galaxy

    Guardians of the Galaxy

    ★★★★½

    I am Groot.
    -Groot

    I am Groot. I AM Groot! I'm Groot. I am GROOT? I'm GROOT! I AM GROOT?! I am Groot! I AM Groot. I'm Groot?! I am GROOT! I'm GROOT? I AM GROOT. I am... GROOT!

    I am GROOT. I AM GROOT! I'm GROOT?! I AM Groot? I'm Groot! I am Groot?! I am Groot? I AM Groot?! I'm Groot? I am GROOT?! I'm GROOT. I AM GROOT? I... AM... GROOOOOOOT!

    ************SPOILER WARNING************
    I am Groot.
    ************END OF SPOILERS************

  • Jaws: The Revenge

    Jaws: The Revenge

    ½

    Roar!
    -Shark

    Instead of doing a review I will just point out the crap that inhabits this film.

    - The shark roars like a lion.
    - Mario Van Peebles does a Jamaican accent
    - The shark swims from New York to the Bahamas in less then 3 days.
    - This is the sequel that popularized the tagline "This time it's personal!"
    - African Americans feet apparently look Caucasian under water
    - The god damn shark is hunting one family, even…