Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker ★★★

Long have I waited and now, your coming together is your undoing.
-Emperor Palpatine

I’m one of those old coots who was a kid during the height of the original trilogy. Before it was “Special Editioned”. All we had were 3 feature films, a couple of crappy cartoons and a couple of shitty TV movies. I watched The Ewok Adventure more times than any sane person should. It was probably the most important thing in my childhood and if you’re reading this, I guarantee this isn’t going in the direction you think it is. I’m not pissed off that someone is “ruining my childhood”, I’m annoyed that people are constantly trying to make the shit I loved as a kid far more important than it deserves to be.

Most will say that there’s two types of Star Wars fans now, but all I see is outrage from everyone. People were outraged that The Last Jedi ruined Luke Skywalker while others were outraged that people didn’t recognize the brilliance of it. How dare they do such and such with that character and do nothing with that other one. How dare that person not like themes of this and complain about that. When I was a kid, I loved nothing more than to talk about Star Wars with someone, now I would rather attempt to shave my face using a cheese grater than have a conversation about Star Wars.

The original films were big budget versions of old sci fi serials. It’s not a secret, we know it because George Lucas told us so. They were filled with archetype fantasy characters, good versus evil with improbable plot twists and cliff-hangers. I fucking loved them. They were the greatest films ever created. As an adult I clearly see they weren’t perfect.

So, let’s see what’s going on with Rise of Skywalker. It’s fine. It sacrifices already established character development and creativity to finish in the safest way possible. It’s still a grand sci fi fantasy with plenty of action and some resemblance of emotion. Before you crap on that realize you can describe one of the films from the original trilogy the same way.

Return of the Jedi changed its plot because of fans. Sure, it wasn’t because of fan backlash on the internet, but fans changed it nonetheless through, of all things, toy sales. The original outline for Jedi changed because of fucking toy sales. Leia and Han’s character development from Empire came to a full stop, character deaths canceled (who wants to buy an action figure of a dead guy?) and Ewoks created to fulfil that new toy need. The showdown between Luke, Vader and the Emperor was essentially already set up so what was the big creative push for our heroes to overcome this time? They brought the Death Star back from the first film. Third movie in the series and it was already creatively bankrupt. Any of this sound familiar?

Jedi is probably better though, not because of nostalgia, but because it simply tries to do less. There’s like an entire new trilogy crammed into this fucking thing. I don’t really hold Rian Johnson or J.J. Abrams responsible for what happened with this trilogy. Not having a clear plot outline for the trilogy to start off with actually did have positives. You make one film and then see where it should go next. What works, what doesn’t, ect. That doesn’t work though if you want to release a new film every two years. You need to know where the fuck you’re going if you already have the films scheduled. I mean who the fuck is in charge over there?

Does it feel like Star Wars? Yeah it does. It’s fine. It has its moments. I’ll say this though, anyone who claims that Abrahams didn’t try to undo a bunch of stuff from Last Jedi is blind. This didn’t ruin or save Star Wars. The world will keep turning. More Star Wars films will come. We will survive. Baby Yoda still exists.

Degrees of Separation from Last Movie:
- The Rise of Skywalker with Daisy Ridley
-Was in Star Wars: The Last Jedi

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