MRisnes

I don’t have to explain myself to you.

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  • Barton Fink

    Barton Fink

    ★★★★★

    “You read the Bible, Pete?
    Holy Bible?
    Yeah.
    I think so. At least I’ve heard about it.”

    Before I stumbled into fatherhood, committed myself to wedded bliss and settled into regimented domesticity, I had two great artistic dreams I endeavored to succeed at. The first was music. I played in several bands and made a spirited run at a career in one of them in the late 90’s and early 2000’s. 

    The second was writing. I didn’t work quite as…

  • Beyond the Black Rainbow

    Beyond the Black Rainbow

    ★★★★★

    Big old dumb daydreams. My deluded shrink leading me to my revelations. Have I been wasting all this time before I really started wasting all my time? Home alone except I’m never alone. Surrounded and suffocated at every turn and turning into a fat, pointless old man with a lot of lines all over my face. 

    I was a pointless boy before I became a pointless man. A boring redundancy with two balls that have since been silenced. Nothing more…

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  • WandaVision

    WandaVision

    Not gonna waste my time rating this or going in depth. I remember what happened to my Raised By Wolves reviews. 

    Suffice to say, I HAAAAAAATTTEEDDD this. I get that they’re doing a thing and maybe it will get better, but the first two episodes were insufferable. This is not what I watch this shit for, at all. Be cutesy on your own goddamn time. I didn’t just go through a year long Marvel drought to end up being treated to some 90’s SNL skit excruciatingly dragged out to an hour (38 minutes without credits). 

    FUCK OFF.

  • Cliffhanger

    Cliffhanger

    ★★

    Ugh. Almost 28 years between theatrical and last night on 4K and I still don’t like this. Some great wilderness photography and killer stunt work, but I just don’t enjoy the story or the characters or really anything about this. Every time that bald fuckhead with the push broom mustache opened his mouth I had to physically fight the urge to throw my shoe at the TV. Lithgow is fine, but he can do this shit in his sleep. I…

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  • The Empty Man

    The Empty Man

    ★★★★★

    “We can’t indict the cosmos.”

    Ok, so....why in the blue fuck is nobody talking about this?!?!?! 

    This film is roughly 286 million times better than it has any right to be. Engrossing, fascinating, eerily disturbing and slyly hilarious. What even is this? All its disparate elements might be familiar and well trod horror tropes, but the patient, mesmeric way they’re meticulously conjoined is nothing short of revelatory. 

    It’s been a long damn time since a new movie hit me in…

  • Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

    Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

    ★★★★½

    Watching the sequence where Koba leads the apes in a savage assault on the humans after perpetrating a false flag and mobilizing their outrage with lies plays a lot more uncomfortably now. There’s even a scene where the apes are running through City Hall gathering up the humans. All that was missing was a gorilla with a Fanny pack full of zip ties and a chimp in a Camp Auschwitz t shirt. 

    Also, I love this film with all my…