• El Dorado

    El Dorado

    ★★★★

    great picture but the part where james caan pretends to be chinese is one of the most insane things i've ever seen

  • Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

    Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island

    ★★★

    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    Scooby-Doo on Zombie Island is a triumphant examination of a gang of lifelong friends and their sentient, but dim-witted dog’s harrowing journey into a waking nightmare that leaves them questioning the nature of existence and evil itself. The dark, mysterious bayous of Louisiana provide a backdrop that not only poignantly mirrors the shadowy condition of the human soul, but also the muddy obfuscation of morality brought about by desperation.

    The film begins with Mystery Inc being chased through a foreboding…

  • Captain Marvel

    Captain Marvel

    ★★

    I liked the kitty cat

  • Cabin Fever

    Cabin Fever

    ½

    There is no reason for this to exist

  • Snakes on a Plane

    Snakes on a Plane

    ★★★★

    Classic trashy entertainment

  • The Neon Demon

    The Neon Demon

    ★½

    Wow.  Wow wow wow. This is a fucking mess. The only thing keeping me from a half star rating is (once again) the absolutely gorgeous cinematography. Like Nicolas Winding Refn does, this is a supremely beautiful film. But it doesn't even come somewhat close to the gravity of the story it's trying to tell. This is an absolute garbage film, from beginning to end. Edgy, pretentious, vapid: this has all the hallmarks of a Nicolas Winding Refn film. It's beautiful, but unless you have a high tolerance for insanely pretentious bullshit, avoid this like the plague. I seriously cannot give you better advice.

  • Team America: World Police

    Team America: World Police

    ★★★★★

    Fuck yeah

  • The Master of Disguise

    The Master of Disguise

    As a child I loved this movie. As an adult... it broke me. I laughed at a fart joke, and I am ashamed.

  • Kwaidan

    Kwaidan

    ★★★

    The Black Hair: 3 / 5 
    The Woman of the Snow: 3.5 / 5
    Hoichi the Earless: 2.5 / 5
    In a Cup of Tea: 3 / 5

  • The Poughkeepsie Tapes

    The Poughkeepsie Tapes

    ★★★★½

    I don't know what you want me to say.

    I see a lot of people dragging this film for its low production quality and for being "unrealistic," which I really don't understand. I watch a lot of horror films and I have to say that The Poughkeepsie Tapes is one of the most genuinely disturbing ones I've seen in a really long time. It pulls off true crime documentary so well that at times it was very hard for me…

  • Vampire's Kiss

    Vampire's Kiss

    ★★★

    All 3 stars go to Nicolas Cage's performance. He makes this movie watchable

  • Waiting...

    Waiting...

    ★★

    My roommate made me watch this. And I'll never get that time back.