I'm Thinking of Ending Things

I'm Thinking of Ending Things ★★★★

“There’s just something profoundly wrong here.”

i was so hyperfixated on the young woman that most of this movie’s narrative intricacies went right over my head. and hey! look! *points up* there are the fucks i give too! 

i think that not clocking the obvious metaphor left me a lot of breathing room to just soak up its atmosphere and profound mess of live feelings, and after all it’s movies like this that count the most on your subjective experience with them to read whatever subtext you want into their fabric. maybe the fact that i’ve been suffering from a lot of headaches (sitting in front of my laptop all day writing papers) changed my perception of this entirely. maybe the dull pounding in my skull led me to grow a stronger connection with Young Woman who barely knows what to do with herself and the shifting reality around her either, maybe my longing for a peaceful night of sleep made me engage more with the crushing melancholy that begins to grow in the abyss between Jake and her. none of it means anything until i come in, I am and then They are or is it always We?

the stream of consciousness mirrors mine, constantly identifying with everything around me in a way that warps my self-perception each day, witnessing my own thoughts take root. Kaufman understands it’s less an exchange than complete exposure. having your mind flayed like that can be too much, can turn it against you until you suddenly lose the origin of your interiority and don’t know where your thoughts stop and imagination begins. honestly didn’t matter that i waited a couple days to try watch this with a clearer mind because it accommodates, even welcomes a foggy state. it’s not a warm hug but the cooling hands on feverish temples letting you know there’s a certain reality outside your own hallucinations still. an enigma of changing scenes and people. 

made me fall ever so deeply in love with Jessie Buckley so if otherwise nothing but undefinable emotions, i can at least take that from it too. ha. i hope Charlie Kaufman is doing alright because knowing the meaning of life like this doesn’t seem like something i ever want to deal with :)

nad 🔪 liked these reviews