i never claimed to be a writer
the following is a review of both the film boogie nights (1997) and the calzone (2024) i ordered today
this morning, at 8:32am, i had decided that i needed a giant calzone and also needed to rewatch boogie nights. at 9:47am, i scheduled for pickup at 11:30am, a calzone consisting of; cheese, pepperoni, banana peppers and jalapeños from a local pizzeria noted with explicit instructions that read: "is there any possible way to make this "dirk diggler" sized? i was…
i'm walking out of the movie theater in a flabbergasted daze, incredibly confused at the choices i just witnessed. it's cold out and i stop for a moment to stretch. a very attractive girl, around my age, comes out the door and just kind of sighs.
i'm asked: "that was dog shit, yeah? am i crazy for thinking that?"
"no lol you absolutely nailed it. whatever that was aught to be a criminal offense."
she laughed at that and i…
i grew up being one of those "fat kids" during the formative years of my life and it's like... the jokes.. the self-consciousness, the rejection, all the things that i personally went through seriously had a negative effect on my psyche and how i view my own reflection... which still exists to this day, and frankly will be with me until the day i am dead
and then aronofsky, unsurprisingly, drops this pandering garbage. two hours of absolutely nothing. two…