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  • The Godsend

    The Godsend

    ★★½

    Killer kid jam can be pretty sluggish despite an eerie premise of kids dropping like flies, but I gotta say... Angela Pleasence (in a small role) steals the show—as she usually does.

  • Madhouse

    Madhouse

    ★★★★

    Vincent Price plays a fictionalized version of himself, and for me, the results work swimmingly, especially with Peter Cushing on board (plus archival footage of Basil Rathbone and Boris Karloff). I have a blast every time I revisit this romp of fun, ghoulish macabre. The previous years film, Theatre of Blood, also has Price playing aging veteran actor, but Madhouse is like the goofy psychological “you might be the killer” Scooby Doo version and I LOVE IT for that. 

    That’s it... I'm going as Dr. Death for Halloween this year.

  • Critters 2

    Critters 2

    ★★★★½

    Someone recently asked me (in a very weird “how do you do, fellow kids?” way) if I preferred Critters, Ghoulies, Gremlins, or Hobgoblins. I easily replied “ALL” because there is simply nothing more I’d rather watch than a hodgepodge of said beings murdering Easter bunnies, mean old hags, carnival attendees, or security guards as they decimate the planet. 

    Also, this movie is my fav crit(erion)ters movie, more fun than its predecessor, and absolutely worth the 4 and a half stars I’m rating it—I won’t hear anything otherwise!

  • Curse of the Puppet Master

    Curse of the Puppet Master

    ★★★½

    I popped this this because I’m super stoked for all the new full moon jams coming out over the next year!!!! This one features a gas station attendant named Tank who also happens to carve wood and have crazy wet dreams where his legs are Puppet gears. David DeCoteau definitely does what David DeCoteau does best <3 plus he goes pretty dark towards the end which I’m always a fan of. I don’t care what anyone says.. these movies are fucking fun.

  • The Escapees

    The Escapees

    ★★★★

    Gone are the supernatural horrors I associate with Rollin’s work, but the director’s obsessions remain... mental asylums, breaking free from society, gender issues, as well as a pair of wondering woman who embark on a journey—this time through a modern dystopia. 

    Two patients, Michelle, a loud, rebellious troublemaker who wants to see the world, and Marie, a crestfallen recluse, escape a mental asylum and begin their journey together across the French countryside with hope for a meaningful life, meeting various…

  • Female Vampire

    Female Vampire

    ★★★★

    “He was killed by a mouth, he was bitten in the middle of an orgasm, and the vampire sucked his semen and took his life away.”

    Shrouded in soft focus zooms and dreamlike transgressive eroticism, the constant certainty emerging from the thick fog is just how much Lina Romay and Jess Franco feed off each other, some sort of uncompromising collaboration so lush, lusty, and outright hypnotizing it isn’t even funny. Pretty sure I was seduced by Lina Romay multiple times while watching this and I can’t say that’s ever happened to me before while watching a movie.

    Even better the second time around

  • Nightmares Come at Night

    Nightmares Come at Night

    ★★★½

    More psychosexual free form erotic haze abstraction from Franco, steeped in betrayals, murder plots, and a lurid dream land where waking moments rarely exist, and when they do they happen to be 8 minute solo strip dance cabaret sequences or hazy sex scenes doused in Bruno Nicoli jazz insanity.

  • Eliminators

    Eliminators

    ★★★½

    In order to take out an evil scientist a mandroid teams up with a ninja, Tasha Yar, a flying r2d2 type thing named SPOT, and local riverboat guide Andrew Prine who basically plays Han Solo. There’s a bar fight, boat chases, South America, mandroid fights, and pretty much everything I’d want from a primo empire pictures 1986 Chaz Band movie where the ultimate goal of the evil scientist is turn himself into an Android and time travel to Ancient Rome to become the new Caesar.

  • Warriors of the Year 2072

    Warriors of the Year 2072

    ★★★

    Italian minds conjure up the best kind of dystopia future worlds: Blood, guts, space satellite shit, tv show death romps, and chariot motorcycle races, tbh all that makes me wish it was 2072 now.

    The boot camp stuff runs a little long but I’m always happy to see Fulci eye trauma... plus things exploding out of nowhere in a 2072 dystopian maxploitstion take on Rollerball/Blade Runner/Knightriders/every other related movie you could imagine is very much my jam. The ending is aces too.

  • The Boxer's Omen

    The Boxer's Omen

    ★★★★★

    A non stop assault of absolute insanity. Loads of blood, bile and puss... with skeleton bats, flesh ripping, spiders, needles, venom, eyeballs, flying heads, and so much more... all never ceasing to amaze—fantastical wonders that, in secret, must have made every Italian gore master (combined) nervously sweat and say “ohhhh shit”. Also, through all the muck and slime there is a message here—this thing definitely has something to say.

    The wild side of cinema.

  • Amityville 3-D

    Amityville 3-D

    ★★★

    Topping the bonkers insanity that is part 2 is a pretty hefty task... does Amityville 3-D do it? Nope. Still though, as far as 80’s haunted house movies go there are far worse things you can dredge up from the depths, and if I’m being totally honest if I had to make a list underrated ‘part 3’ movies I’d probably put this on it... despite the lack of full blown gore/goop that preceded this.

    I’ve mentioned my nostalgia ties to…

  • Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

    Godzilla vs. Destoroyah

    ★★★★

    Starts with the traditional slow build, even mixes in some flashbacks to the OG Togo jam while adding a few horror flourishes/Aliens-like corridor shootouts with mini Destoroyah xeno-kaiju’s before erupts into a ten megaton monster mash showdown with reactor Godzilla on the verge of total meltdown while being totally capable of tugging on heart strings. Great send off.