James has written 973 reviews for films with no rating.
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Side Effects May Vary 2024
This is J.R.'s first movie in 20 years and it was everything I wanted it to be. It was hilarious, it was disgusting, it was exciting, it was classic Tempe. With Lonnie writing it and J.R. directing it, this movie felt like an extension of those great 90's Tempe movies that we all love so fucking much.
The movie stars James L Edwards, Tina Krause, and Brinke Stevens. Three of my favorite people in the entire low budget universe. Lonnie…
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Waiting for Dracula 2012
This movie is so incredibly special. It's as cheap and dumb as can be, almost in a Club Lingerie kind of way but not as weird. They're going for a Waiting for Godot thing here but with vampires and crystal meth and reality show confessional interviews...so probably better than Waiting for Godot.
The movie is set up as a reality show about Dracula coming to L.A. to film a documentary about setting up a nest of vampiresses. But those vampiresses…
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Dark Walker 2003
This movie is everything I wanted for a Halloween-set movie. It's got that late era Full Moon feel but cheaper than usual which works for me. The group of young people to be slashed by the unexplained monster tick all the slasher boxes but my favorite was Reef, the stoner. The stoner jokes were dumb as a stump but that's my kind of horror movie humor.
This was filmed at an actual haunted house and they get some good mileage…
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Meat Market 2 2001
After Meat Market I put this on wondering......"will this one have hard dicks in it too?" It does. For no reason other than to have dicks in it which I sure appreciate. This time the hard dicks are sandwiched in the middle of a mostly naked lady shower montage. It goes from big soapy boobs to little soapy boobs to bigger soapy boobs to other soapy boobs to EXTREME CLOSE UP of a hard dick being "washed" (no soap....just looks…
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Meat Market 2000
Two things I sure wasn't expecting to see when I popped in Meat Market:
1. A big old HARD DICK
2. Seemingly unsimulated sexBesides all that, which is enough for this particular pervert, the movie is actually pretty wild. There's zombies, vampires, a mad scientist, a luchador, lots of sex and lots of violence. If ANYONE has told me Meat Market was this good it never would have taken me all these years to watch it.
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Vampire Call Girls 1998
For a late 90s softcore vampire movie a lot of really hilarious shit happens in this movie. After a quick vocab lesson teaching us that vampires suck blood while call girls suck cock we open up on Glori-Anne Gilbert riding a washing machine while a big old manbaby watches through a hole in the wall. I love Glori-Anne so damn much.
From there we meet the man himself, Everette Hartsoe. He wrote, produced, and directed this movie and three other…
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Psycho Pike 1992
Psycho Pike may be talky. Some may call it boring. Some may complain that there isn't enough Pike carnage. They might be right but this is exactly the right kind of boring talky monster movie that I love. There's corporate espionage, environmental crime, blackmail, murder, and a love triangle. That's a whole lot of stuff to talk about.
I remember reading in some blog a long time ago that the negative turned up but a proper release never materialized. That's…
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Rex Dandy and The Case of the Missing Millionaire 2001
SOV comedies can be rough. At this budget lots of movies are unintentionally funny but as soon as it becomes intentional it can get a little dicey. Thankfully, Rex Dandy is dumb enough to work!
A friend tipped me off to this tape on eBay about a year ago and it looked janky enough that I just had to have it. It took me a while to get to it but today just felt right. I really didn't know what…
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The Payback 1995
Ron Atkins is probably most known for Schizophreniac: The Whore Mangler and Necromaniac: Schizophreniac 2, his horrifically offensive one-two SOV punch from the late 90s. This is his insanely obscure and ridiculously impossible to find first movie. I happened to find a copy a few months ago and finally watched it last night at a friend's place. We were expecting Reservoir Dogs but made in one apartment for about $35 and while Reservoir Dogs was most definitely the inspiration behind…
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Party Crasher: My Bloody Birthday 2000
Most filmmakers would have taken the first fifteen minutes of this movie and stretched it out to 70+ minutes and made a proper slasher. To be fair, there's a cool movie in there but Mark Mason wasn't interested in making a simple slasher movie. He had bigger things in mind.
15 years later the "guilty party" behind the gruesome slaughter in that first 15 minutes of the movie is being moved to a different facility, a la Michael Myers. He…
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Killroy Was Here 2022
I just got home from a secret screening of Killroy Was Here and I'm still riding a pretty good high from how great this movie was. Truly. I happen to be of the opinion that Kevin's at his best lately when he's having fun and doing whatever he wants without any thoughts given to his fanbase. Aka Red State, Tusk, Yoga Hosers etc. This movie feels like it belongs to that thread and I couldn't be more into it. It's…
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The Brotherhood VI: Initiation 2009
Brotherhood 6 feels closer to a proper Brotherhood movie than 5 did but it's still firmly in the post-1313 universe here so instead of some sinister secret club it's just a frat initiation out in the woods. But hey, making it a hazing thing allows Davey to put the frat boys in their underwear for the entire movie including my favorite DeCoteau boy, the dude from Christmas Spirit.
Also, there's a burlap-sack-over-his-head axe killer out in the woods picking everyone off one by one. No big deal. Keep finding those ribbons hidden in the woods boys you've got a frat to join.