Lightyear ★★

Lightyear tells the story of Buzz Lightyear, a space ranger who’s mission is to find a way back home after he and his crew got stranded on an unknown, hostile planet.

Lightyear does not work. it merely feels cinematic, save its stupendous cinematography, but it’s almost pitiful in regards to almost every other aspect. the storyline is weirdly incoherent, the characters lacked charm and substance, the enemies were prodigiously monotonous, and the plot twists were predictable. the film ties all that nothingness with exorbitantly wavering shock value that, due to the lack of build-up and sentimental substance, feels powerless and languid.

the plot itself barely drives itself forward until nearly half the film has passed, being bound to bore even the younger. Buzz has a clear scarcity of emotional concreteness even though we’ve grown to love him over Pixar’s biggest and best franchise yet, Buzz lacks the ‘Toy Story Magic’. how is it that the human version of Buzz is less excitedly compelling than the plastic version? because this film was pointless and evidently served no purpose. it’s just worthless backstory that could’ve been guarded way better under a Pixar short, stretching it out to feature length was an almighty mistake.

Lightyear is a predominately aimless, soulless, and uncompassionate mess, with only a handful of positive details. its most intriguing narratives were rushed and the more boring ones weren’t, expectations that ran to infinity and beyond, dare i say even further, were wasted.

Stewie Griffin liked these reviews