• Barbarian



    This review may contain spoilers. I can handle the truth.

    "Yeah I got double booked with this weird dude, we found a creepy secret room that led to a system of caves, I got held captive by some freaky lady who thought i was her baby that also killed my roommate, got shot by the owner of the house after trying to go rescue him, then he threw me off a water tower and I nearly died...4 out of 5 stars, the room was really nice and they gave us a complimentary bottle of wine" - Tess reviewing this airbnb probably

  • Godzilla: King of the Monsters

    Godzilla: King of the Monsters


    humans for like 3/4 of the movie: fuck Godzilla he is a fugly slut do NOT trust him 😡😤
    humans the last 1/4 of the movie: friendship ENDED 🙅🏻‍♀️ with Monarch, now Godzilla is my best friend 💖

  • Bones



    Everyone (critics included) who convinced me this was just a bad early 2000's direct to video horror movie that happened to star Snoop Dogg with no merit whatsoever; how's it feel to be wrong and also have the worst brainrot known to humanity?

  • El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie

    El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie


    Who is this for...like genuinely?

  • TÁR



    I feel like I'll have thoughts way more eloquent on this after I let my brain stew on it for a few days or watch it a second time, but fuck Cate was such a force in this that I am not fully convinced Lydia Tár isn't a real person.

  • Double Jeopardy

    Double Jeopardy


    Girl I'm like 90% sure that is NOT how the double jeopardy clause works. But also? Good for her

  • Everything Everywhere All at Once

    Everything Everywhere All at Once


    Only took me like a year to finally see this but bitch holy fuck what a movie. Phenomenal. Cannot believe a movie that's about taxes and has a scene with talking rocks made me feel this much emotion. Also great to see Ke Huy Quan acting again absolutely love that for him. If this doesn't (didn't? Idk when tf the movie awards happen) win any awards, especially if Michelle Yeoh and Ke Huy Quan don't get the awards they deserve, I WILL riot

  • The Perks of Being a Wallflower

    The Perks of Being a Wallflower


    It's very surreal coming back to this movie affer so many years. I first watched this in high school and it was one of my biggest comfort movies; when I was feeling completely hopeless, I'd throw this on. Charlie was a very "wow he's just like me fr" character and it's strange looking back at it now having discovered so much about myself (especially considering the last time I watched it, the breakdown scene triggered me and helped me start…

  • Hellboy



    This was literally fine y'all are just babies and can't accept change

  • The Bye Bye Man

    The Bye Bye Man


    The fact this is like, a movie I'm supposed to take seriously and not a parody or meme is....something
    It's not even bad in a fun way, it's just super fucking boring with like 2 cool scenes lol

  • Amityville 1992: It's About Time

    Amityville 1992: It's About Time


    Ok no really what is it with Amityville making everyone so fucking horny???

  • Amityville: Dollhouse

    Amityville: Dollhouse


    Why is everyone so fucking horny