Suspiria ★★½

Today, we need to break the nose of every beautiful thing.

Starting to think me and Luca just clash in an incompatible way. This isn't a bad movie, but it's an instance of a movie where very little worked for me in a distinct way. I at least respect that Luca and crew looked at the original and didn't want to do a beat for beat remake, taking inspiration from the original while wanting to attempt something different. The story and writing is better because of it, and I do appreciate whatever feminist thing seems to be going on here, but I didn't find it to stick the landing. Beyond a good line here and there, I also found that Tilda Swinton, in her three roles, were the only performances I cared for. Likely my biggest grievance, and what was the ultimate strength of the original, is the aesthetics. Again, at least kind of respectful that this doesn't ape off the style of Argento's version. But also, damn I miss those colors, and most of this looked bland to me, despite the clear effort that went into sets. The stunning sound design of the original is M.I.A. here as well, expect for the small moments of horror we get here. Another issue, this wasn't disturbing or scary enough. The original did a solid job of consistently keeping me anxious, while any anxiety here was only brought up during the nightmares or the final thirty minutes, which I admittedly enjoyed, but why bother with that when you can get a feature-length version of that in Climax? Good for you if you enjoyed this, and it's not lost on me why someone would enjoy it, but it wasn't for me, and I'm probably going to forget most everything from it soon, expect for that Thom Yorke score. Just listen to the Yorke score.


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