Star Wars: The Last Jedi

Star Wars: The Last Jedi ★★★

Will someone please tell me what exactly it was about Rose that made all the Poor Little White Boys get their knickers in a twist? No, you know what? I already know, it's because she's non-Caucasian and female. And you're getting all upset about that when there are actual issues with the film? Stuff like the fact that it takes damn near 2 1/2 hours to basically tell the story of how what remains of the Rebels run away from the First Order?

But that said the film does have it's moments, like that opening. Wow, what a shocker. The first character to speak a word turns out to be Vyvyan Basterd who turns out to be the commander of a Star Destroyer. I think we all knew it would come to this, didn't we?

The main problem here is that there's a lot going on and nothing really happens, Rey is off annoying Luke, Leia is having trouble shaking the First Order after getting in a kerfuffle over a Starkiller and Fin runs off with Rose on a mission of their own to sabotage the device that's tracking the Rebels every time they jump.

It's a oft heard complaint that middle parts of a trilogy fail to stand on their own, but The Last Jedi struggles even like a bridging story, if feels as if it's come from nowhere are ends nowhere. I know there's that stuff with Rey and Luke and Kylo which is all terribly significant in terms of the overall saga, but it's not all that interesting and in any case gets lost amongst all the explody stuff which fills out the majority of the running time.

My usual complaints about the unnecessary use of CGI hold true here, often used not because they should but because they can, most obviously in the character of Snoke. There really is no reason for him not to be an actor under makeup, except of course that he's played by Andy Serkis and therefore has to be a CGI character. The important thing though is that he is all too obviously generated in a computer.

Speaking of which, what is the point of the porgs? Cute though they might be they serve no purpose, which might just be how I would sum up this whole movie.

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