Will Weldon

Buddy, you don't mind your own business pretty soon and this bio's going to say "whooped the ass of the nosey person that wouldn't stop prying into my bio".

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  • Bird Box

    Bird Box

    I went to what I think was this movie's premiere and Sandra Bullock was there with the director and producers, and maybe fifteen minutes in the entire theater just started radiating this energy of "how politely do we clap at the end of this thing?" This movie needed to either take itself way less seriously, or figure out a more interesting and surreal way to represent the its central horror because as it was it really reminded me of the…

  • The Five-Year Engagement

    The Five-Year Engagement

    This is a movie about a man who develops severe clinical depression, and his family that couldn't give less of a shit about helping him. It should be called "Hey Man, You're Better Off Without Them".

    EDITED TO ADD: I wish they'd killed Chris Pratt's character

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  • Scream

    Scream

    This is one of those movies that was just the apex of its genre both in terms of critical and fiscal success, and the unfortunate thing about those kinds of movies is that they tend to have a pretty dire effect on their genre for years to come. Why is that? Well, they "inspire" a lot of churned out copycats by studios hoping for some easy money*. In a reasonable system, that kind of excellence would inspire other studio execs…

  • Phantom Thread

    Phantom Thread

    ★★★★½

    This is a movie about BDSM. I briefly dated a dominatrix, so don't you dare fucking challenge me on this.